39 Weeks (June 20, 2014)

Posted on June 20, 2014 by playinghousewi

39 Weeks (June 20, 2014). Somehow it’s already a week before the due date; however, I’m not going to lie, knowing that my doc will let me go another two weeks makes it feel like we’ve still got some time. I’m starting to think my womb might be like the Ritz… this girl just doesn’t want to check out. So she continues to grow – as do I – and now measures (according to my phone app) 20″ long and weighs about 7.25 lbs. That’s crazy.

Symptoms

Well, I’m sure it’s no surprise that I’m feeling a bit emotional/sensitive today. I really am not overly concerned with going late, as long as I go naturally, but somehow, after receiving the news last week and again this week that my body and baby have made no real steps towards labor, I can’t help but feel really sensitive/worried/anxious/insecure/etc.

I did talk with my doula yesterday, which helped a lot. She’s going to bring over another relaxation CD on Saturday and her fetoscope, which she’ll use to confirm baby girl’s position. That makes me pretty happy. The other positive is that we still have three weeks for my body and this baby to get ready to go. That’s a long time.

The selfish part of me definitely has waves of, “Are you f’ing kidding me? 3 more weeks??” I’m getting pretty sick of sweating and just find that I recognize myself less and less in this giant, sweaty body. To help make it through, I did break down yesterday and buy two new pairs of shoes. If I have three more weeks to go, I just couldn’t keep wearing those tennis shoes. I know it’s vain, but the frumpier I feel, the more emotional and blah I feel. SO, you’ll notice in my belly pic above, I purchased a pair of black slip-ons with a small wedge and I also bought a pair of camel colored ballet flats. It definitely helps a little. What wasn’t helpful was how un-fun my shopping experience was. I LOVE shopping. But I did not love it last night. I was hot and uncomfortable and sweating and had to try on about 5,000 pairs of shoes before finding some that fit. Ugh.

I think the timing of my half-time maternity leave and my last day working out kind of made me feel like D-Day was just around the corner and then the appointment yesterday just squashed that. Hopefully with Friday afternoon through Tuesday off, I’ll get my positivity and “peace” back.

AND, even if I do go three more weeks, that’s just more time to rest and relax, right? It’s time to be more positive. Really, no matter what, this is all great. We have a really healthy baby swimming around and we will meet her in less than a month. I’m done complaining… for today!

Progress Check Update

Posted on June 19, 2014 by playinghousewi

All of my bouncing and squatting and stressing don’t seem to be working. I’m pretty much the same as I was last week… the new stats:

Dilation: 1/2-1 cm (doc “did me the favor” of poking her finger all the way through the cervix, which technically makes me 1 cm, but not really. This is pretty much where I was before, although my doc didn’t poke through last time. She said that sometimes just “getting a finger in there” helps to get things moving. We’ll see. The thing I know for sure is that it wasn’t comfortable.)

Effacement: 70-80% (so, this is a little higher, but doesn’t really get me too jazzed)

Position: -3… AGAIN! (this is what totally makes me growl. I know, I know… the mantra. She’ll come when she’s ready. But can’t she just give me a little peace of mind by coming down a smidge?)

Weight: 1 lb gain. (I’ve stopped stressing about this. At this point, I’m so f’ing giant it’s not even worth the worry. What’s another pound?)

So, the gist of the visit is that I will likely be taking at minimum the full 40 weeks and up to 42 weeks. My doc, who originally said she’d let me go 10 days past my due date, is now saying she’ll let me go to the full 42 weeks, which brings us to July 11th. That seems like an eternity. But really, it’s not that I feel like I need her to come today or even next week, I just want to feel like we’re making progress. But apparently, she’s not ready… so, we’ll wait. Patiently… ish.

Obviously by the tone of my post, you can tell that my mantra didn’t really work. I can’t help but feel disappointed. I was definitely feeling worse right after my appointment than I am right now. I’m still a week out from my due date, so there’s still time. And ultimately, there is nothing I can do but, well, nothing.

The one little predicament is that my doctor is 90% sure she’s head down, but because of the baby’s very high position, she can’t be 100% sure (because she can’t get a good feel of the baby). She’s given us the option of getting an ultrasound because if the baby is breech, I’ll have to have a c-section. Last night, I had a dream that all of a sudden, I felt her head on top and in unison, the few people around me said, “<GASP> You need a c-section!!” This makes me want to get the ultrasound, but really, it doesn’t feel like she’s head up. I swear I feel kicks and knees and butt on top. So, I think we’ll end up skipping it.

Anyway, I guess it’s time to relax and enjoy my quiet time because once she comes, I’m sure it will be a thing of the past.

The Baby Progress Check Mantra

Posted on June 19, 2014 by playinghousewi

With my internal exam coming up in less than an hour, I’m trying to prep myself with a little pre-check mantra…

I will not be disappointed if we (baby and I) haven’t made visible progress.

Our sweet girl will come when she’s ready.

My body is made for this and will progress as it will.

Hopefully I can keep this in mind and won’t let any amount of good or bad news make or break me today.

Wish me luck!

And the Nesting is BACK!

Posted on June 18, 2014 by playinghousewi

I’m not sure if it was the realization that my due date is next week, the fact that I’m starting half-time maternity leave, or my body doing it’s labor-prep thing, but I am back at the nesting game. I feel like the bulk of my pregnancy was spent at a pretty high level of nesting (minus that wicked first trimester) until about a month or so ago… maybe a few weeks? Whenever the swelling started. Once that hit, I was a puffy, sleepy mess with little drive to do much but wimper, ice, or lay. BUT, the past few days have brought me some serious levels of productivity. And not the kind of productivity I had before – where if it wasn’t baby-related, it wasn’t getting done… or at least not quickly – this was full-on, “A-Game” work! At work, at home, at my other work… I’ve been checking things off my lists, getting organized, cleaning up… it’s amazing. I feel really great about it! Last night, I actually unpacked my hospital bag and repacked it in a way that felt more organized. Yep, that’s where I’m at.

So now, it’s 5:10 and I’m working at a totally cleaned up desk with only one thing to finish… this blog! Then, I’m off! I will officially start my half-time maternity leave. Unfortunately, I have to work a full day at my other job tomorrow and a half-day on Friday, but whatever. Regardless, I’m feeling pretty excited. The uncertainty of this job was really starting to bring me down… not to mention the humidity. So once I leave here, I will head to the gym for my last pre-baby workout (they told me I needed to stop after today… I guess they don’t want to deliver my baby on the gym floor) and then go home to organize something. Or maybe fold some laundry? The bedroom could use a bit of organizing.

And despite all the loveliness of my nesting spree, I must mention that yesterday, it did inflict a little damage…

Yup… that is a HUGE chunk of paint that I gouged out of the wall that took us FOREVER to paint. Urgh. That caused my heart to ache a little…

Other than that, hubs and I did a little cloth diaper practice…

This is Mutsy, my childhood stuffed animal. Pretty cute in his little prefold diaper, huh?

Doesn’t he look excited to be using cloth diapers?

Symptoms
I will be so happy when…

The hot flashes stop. Holy smokes… if anyone looks at me too long, or says something weird, or exists, I start sweating. A lot. My thermostat is way outta whack.
I can curl up in the fetal position.
I can sleep on my back.
My hands are no longer numb.
My hands no longer resemble sausages.
My feet fit in all of my cute shoes. Oh how I miss wearing cute shoes.
I can run and jump into my husband’s arms.
I can run and jump.
I can give my husband a hug without having to be watermelon-distance apart.
I can put my shoes on without breaking a sweat.
My stomach doesn’t rest on my stomach when I sit.
MY BABY IS IN MY ARMS!

So, yesterday I was having very light Braxton Hicks contractions all day. I wasn’t really keeping track of them because they were random and all over the place. Today I’ve had more than I was having previously, but probably not as many as yesterday… at least not that I can remember? I don’t really think it means much except for the obvious, I am coming up on 39 weeks and this baby is coming out soon.

I will say though, I’m getting a little sick of over analyzing every contraction, movement, etc. To the point where I was even considering skipping my internal exam tomorrow. BUT, I’ve decided that I’ll let her check me and if I’ve made no progress, which could totally be the case, then I will skip my 40-week exam. My appointment is tomorrow and I just really hope there has been some progress. I think I feel different. I haven’t had to pee much more than normal (I already pee all the time), but I have had more pressure in my pelvic area and hips. It could just be that this baby is getting HUGE and weighing down on me, but who knows?

I can’t believe this baby is coming soon. I think I’m back to feeling really confident. I spoke to a friend from high school who I had kind of lost touch with and she is just a god-send. She had a natural birth and is just so open and honest about everything. It’s SO nice talking with her. It definitely gave me a boost in confidence. The hubs and I have also been doing the perineum massage, which I think is helping. I don’t know if it will ultimately prevent me from tearing, but it is helping my husband and I in terms of boundary breaking (it was pretty awkward at first), and just in terms of working together. It’s opened up conversation regarding what helps me focus versus what breaks my focus and so on. I know this is a very, VERY mild version of what I’ll actually be feeling, but it at least gets us thinking of ideas.

A Week From Friday

Posted on June 17, 2014 by playinghousewi

That’s my response now when people ask me when I’m due… how crazy is that?? I’m literally due next week. At this point, it’s all VERY hard to comprehend. I’ve found myself staring at our 3D ultrasound picture a lot today thinking, “Is she really inside me? Coming out… like, really soon?!” I just can’t grasp it. I’m starting to really think she’s going to be late, so at least I’ll have a little time to try and get it all to sink in. But really, will it ever? Until she’s laying there, warm on my belly, will it even be possible to grasp? My mind is blown.

I’m such a mixture of excitement, happiness, anxiety, stress, worry… holy shit. It’s just crazy. Who will she look like? What will she smell like? Will she love to cuddle? Will she be a cranky hot mess of a baby? Will she be sweet as pie? Oh it’s just so exciting.

I think she feels my excitement, because she’s squiggling around like a mad woman right now.

It’s funny, as we get closer, I find myself obsessing over every feeling. Last night after a nice relaxing nap on the hammock and a great workout, I was VERY convinced that she had dropped. Even Mark said I looked lower. I felt lower, too. BUT, when I woke up, it looked like she had crawled her way back up to her post. I even made Mark take a picture of my belly this morning so I could over analyze it. After studying it carefully, I don’t think it looks different. Although, I swear I feel more pressure in my pelvic area. Who knows, right? I need to just let it go. She will drop when she wants to and arrive when she’s ready. I suck at patience.

As for today, it didn’t start perfectly. I’ve been craving Chai Lattes like crazy, so you could imagine my surprise and excitement yesterday at the grocery store when I came across a decaf version of my favorite Chai concentrate. I purchased it immediately and literally talked about it all night and all morning until it was time to make my GIANT glass of iced Chai. I poured the concentrate into my cup and it looked a little funny, so I referenced the container to discover…

IT EXPIRED IN MARCH!!!

I was so upset and convinced that this was how my day was going to go. Not cool. BUT, I was pleasantly surprised at the upswing. I had been chatting with a friend yesterday about wanting to take off for maternity leave starting Friday or Monday. I really think it will help with my moods, energy, etc. So anyway, I approached my boss about it this morning – with low expectations – and he agreed! SO, I officially begin 1/2 time maternity leave THIS FRIDAY (which is also one week from my due date)! Only half time because I’ll still be working for my parents 20 hours a week. But, such excitement… I can’t even describe it.

Anyway, I think that’s all for now.

Another Busy Weekend… This Time at 9.5 Months Pregnant

Posted on June 16, 2014 by playinghousewi

As with most of our weekends, it was another busy one! Lots of running from one activity to the next. So, here’s our weekend through a series of photos.

On Friday, Mark went to our friends’ house to watch the World Cup and play with this tiny cutie…

While I went to my Milly’s (MIL’s) for dinner and to meet her sweet little addition to the family.

The yet-to-be-named precious little sweetie pie.

I mean, puppies are seriously the best.

This is my favorite series of puppy pics from the evening…

Pre-Yawn…

Getting into it…

And the full-on yawn!

Pooped little puppy. I left Milly’s around 10 to go meet Jessica, my house guest, at my place!

The next morning, I went for a mani with my mom, sister and niece. I chose baby pink in honor of our little babe on the way! These could be my labor nails! Although I’m guessing I’ll get one more mani in before she decides to show her face. After mani’s, I ran a couple errands and met my grandparents for a father’s day lunch.

Then it was time to celebrate the marriage of one of my adorable college friends.

Cutie Petutie Flower Girl.

Gorg bride and her pops.

Saying “I do!”

How adorable is this guest book??

Jessica (the house guest) and I posing on the bridge. I must mention, the weather was perfect for an outdoor wedding.

My attractive hubs and I on the bridge. Yes, I jammed my fat feet in heels one last time (I hope).

Fun catching up with old friends!

I love this girl… such a hoot!

With my college gals.

After the wedding, we stopped by Milly’s to see this mini pupster!

Sunday it was early rising to celebrate this guy…

And this guy!

Dad and I comparing bellies… he looks like a skinny mini compared to me, huh?

Love this guy.

Chocolate fountain + this dude = disgusting enjoyment.

That’s one happy little man.

After brunch, we went home to shower dad with some presies.

Toby’s card for dad.

Baby’s gift for dad.

But before he opened it, we watched a little World Cup action.

Reading his card..

And a little something special for my guy. Some memories from Milly & his sister from when he was a wee little one. Top memory, Marky loved his teenage mutant ninja turtles PJs and squeezed into them for 5 years!

So obviously, our girl needed some turtle wear… which I “dressed up” by sewing on some bows. A little feminine touch 🙂

And this one!

And this book – a recommendation from a friend! It’s really cool… broken up by baby’s age and very silly/helpful!

Then it was soccer time…

And snooze time, before we headed to Mark’s dad’s house for dinner!

When we got home, I was torturing myself by looking at pictures from our honeymoon. I couldn’t believe how tiny I was and how tiny my feet were. Look at all the room in those sandals… and those veins.

Not quite the same foot…

While this looks like a joke, this is literally how my weekend ended. Both hands in my carpal tunnel splints and a little extra special bonus, ice packs strapped to my feet to help with the pain and swelling in those giant paddles. Yikes.

Mental (& Physical) Health Day

Posted on June 13, 2014 by playinghousewi

Yesterday I took a mental health day. It was a little physical, although, it’s hard to justify not working simply because I’m ginormous, swollen and uncomfortable. BUT, the beauty of being 9.5 months pregnant is that you feel less of a need to justify and more of a need to just do whatever it takes to stay afloat (metaphorically… I have a feeling in a pool of water, I’d sink for sure). So, I took the day off.

I woke up around 8:30, made eggs, and watched a movie. By the time my movie was over, it was just about time for lunch. Which, lucky for me, included my husband. Hubs came home and we hung out and ate lunch… quickly… and he was off. Then, Toby and I went back to the couch to watch Endless Love. While I was entertained, I have to admit, this movie is 1000% a Notebook wanna-be… and it definitely fell short. The plot and even specific scenes were just so similar. And let’s be honest, you just can’t be the Notebook. It’s way too good. After an excessive amount of couch time – which was actually my goal for the day – I took a nice bath and listened to my birthing meditation CD. This is definitely my happy place. In fact, I conked out in the bath and woke up over an hour later. In hind sight, this might be a little dangerous when home alone… but oh well! We survived.

Couch snuggles

Sleepy pup

After the bath nap, I was actually more tired than I was before, so I relaxed on the couch some more. I was supposed to have dinner with my girlfriend, but honestly, the idea of showering, getting ready and then having to do something else (eat/drive/etc) was just way too much. I hate to flake, but I had to. I’ve actually been really flakey lately. I think it stems from me being VERY emotional this past week or so. I’m SO tired – like flu tired – and feeling a little nervous and uncomfortable and huge and blah. Anyway, it hasn’t put me in a very social mood lately. I apologize to all those I’ve bailed on recently.

After my post-bath unwind, I somehow managed to drag my butt to the gym, where I was pretty much uninvited. The gym owner/trainer said that I could work out until Tuesday or so and then it was time to call it quits until after the baby comes. He said switching to just taking walks is a better idea. So, I guess I’ll get a few more workouts in and then it’s break time.

When I got home, I spent about 1.5 hours picking up the house. We have a house guest staying with us for the weekend. While I’m very excited to see her, I’m not going to lie, this has added a touch to my anxiety. I told her that if by some crazy chance I go into labor this weekend, I’m going to kick her out. Hopefully that doesn’t happen, because that feels just mean, but again, at 9.5 months pregnant, I’ve gotta do what I’ve gotta do. I also have a wedding to attend this weekend. I’m hoping my feet will cooperate so I don’t have to wear tennies 🙂

Now a nice, unconventional baby gift… my friend made some lovely illegal graffiti art for the baby. A picture of her waiting to come out. Pretty cool, right? Baby, if you’re reading this, illegal graffiti art is NOT cool or okay.

Compliments of Polli.

38 Weeks… 9.5 MONTHS PREGNANT (June 13, 2014)

Posted on June 13, 2014 by playinghousewi

38 weeks… 9.5 MONTHS PREGNANT! (June 13, 2014). Okay seriously, there are only 2 more weeks until my due date. That is crazy. Unfortunately, you can see that this stubborn little woman is still high as ever and refusing to drop. It’s surprising that she’d be stubborn, right? Also, look at Toby. I mean, is he for real? Why is he the cutest dog ever?

My Psychic Experience

Posted on June 11, 2014 by playinghousewi

Last night, my mom, sister and I went to a “ladies night” event at my parents’ club. This was the event…

A Psychic Experience!

I have only had one psychic experience before and it was some Carnival palm reading. I can’t remember what the lady said exactly, but she was dishing out some mean words to my friends and I. Told one that he was going to have an illegitimate child, told me that I was going to have two engagements and one marriage, the first engagement that ended because I don’t know how to love, and so on. She was special.

Anyway, I tried to go into last night’s experience with an open mind because really, what the hell do I know about reaching spirits or the “other side”… I can hardly figure out this side.

The chairs were all set up in a circle and the experience began with an opening “prayer” and message. Debra, the psychic, explained that she is a medium who gets visual messages and senses… but does not receive audible messages. She said that her role was to relay messages that will provide guidance, closure, etc.

So, how’d she do? Honestly, I don’t even know. A lot of her “readings” seemed like mumbo jumbo bullshit, but some of it seemed more purposeful or relevant. It’s so hard to tell. For most of the 2.5 hour-session, I sat there and watched as women sobbed, got choked up, went from mocking to totally engaged, and thought to myself, this is what these women need. Everyone has experienced some sort of loss – some much more devastating than others – and ultimately, we all want some sort of closure or reassurance that those people are okay and that they are still with us.

Then, as the “show” was winding down, the lady sitting next to me asked Debra if she could tell whether I was having a boy or a girl. Debra explained that she’s no good at that, but she does have a message for me. Note: I had otherwise stayed out of the spotlight… a place I don’t really love. She said that she was sensing the presence of a womanly figure and asked if I had a woman in my life who had crossed over. I said yes, but did not expand on the fact that my Grandma had passed away 12ish years ago and that she always called me her heart of hearts. She was amazing and we always had such an amazing connection. Probably because I’m freakishly similar to my dad (her son).

Anyway, Debra explained that this woman was sending me a message about my pregnancy. She wanted me to know that I should trust in my body and the labor process because she was going to be with me the whole time. That my body was made for this and that everything was going to be great. I had nothing to worry about. As I sat there listening with a bit of skepticism, I couldn’t help but feel like what I imagined all the other women were feeling when the spotlight was turned to them… “is this for real?” I mean, if my grams were still alive, this would be her in a nutshell. Calming me down, telling me to relax and just trust, and saying whatever I needed to make me feel like everything was going to be okay.

She said that Grandma kept saying, “We’re all here, everything is okay. We’re catching up and laughing. We’re all here.” I picture my Grandpa arriving after 12 long years apart and them finally getting to be together again.

Debra laughed. “I’m getting another image, which probably sounds crazy, but I’m going to go with it…” She said that she saw Grandma with a “magic wand” of sorts bopping us each on the head and that she gets the vibe that we’re all a little spiritually connected. Now, I don’t know how I feel about that, but I couldn’t help but laugh a little because I kind of think my Grams looks a lot like the fairy godmother in Cinderella.

The Fairy Godmother

My Fairy Grandmother

Anyway, the point of this whole thing is that I’ve decided to trust that whether or not this psychic saw my Grams or not, I’m going to take her message with me. Because, regardless of whether she spoke to this lady or not, I’m sure that my Grammy is with me and will be protecting me and her great grandchild as we embark on this marathon laboring event and crazy life together thereafter. And I will find peace in the image of Grandma welcoming Grandpa with laughter and open arms. I bet they’re dancing right now.

Aren’t they cute?

Symptoms

I am SO tired and worn out today… and crabby and blah. I don’t know if it’s the rainy weather or if it’s the exhaustion, but I’m just not a happy camper today. In fact, I’m on my way to go take a nap during my hour between jobs. I feel like I can barely keep my head up. I just want to lay on the couch, snuggled with my hubs and pup and call it a day… not that we’d all fit on the couch together. Or at least not for too long. But still.

Also, which might be adding to my mood, I had my appointment yesterday (a few days early because my doc will be out of town on Thursday – my regular appointment day) and I’ve made no progress since last week… except for gaining 1.5 lbs. Boo. Guess it’s time I listen to Grams, huh? Relax, trust my body, etc.

Some DIY Crafting for My Girl

Posted on June 10, 2014 by playinghousewi

Last night my friend Jenna came over to help me finish the weekly/monthly photo prop for the little lady. Here are some pics…

We started with some unpainted, wood numbers (1.25″).

And after a lot of strategizing (and chatting), decided to paint the numbers solid colors.

Craft table mess.

Colored numbers.

Everything all together.

Month 1 sample! I think it’s going to be pretty dang cute!

Besides the photo props, I also finished my gallery wall artwork for the nursery this weekend. The husband still needs to hang these pictures (hint, hint, wink, wink!!!), but here are some quick photos of what I did.

Little round guy. This one is a combination of scrapbooking paper and ribbon/lace inside the frame and mini flowers glued on top of the frame’s glass.

The mirror frame and bad lighting make this one hard to see. But, I just used scrapbook paper inside the frame and painted letters/a button glued on top of the glass to give this one a little dimension and added interest.

This was my last one… creativity was running thin, and I was already wounded from the hot glue gun. So, this one is just scrapbook paper inside the frame and a fabric flower glued to the outside of the glass.

This is probably my favorite. There is white cardstock inside the frame and then I used the beads on a cheapy, pink “pearl” necklace to make a heart (I drew on the back side of the glass using a dry erase marker first to trace the heart shape), and then filled in the background with white buttons. Everything was stuck on using hot glue.