Well, I’m sure it’s no surprise that I’m feeling a bit emotional/sensitive today. I really am not overly concerned with going late, as long as I go naturally, but somehow, after receiving the news last week and again this week that my body and baby have made no real steps towards labor, I can’t help but feel really sensitive/worried/anxious/insecure/etc.
I did talk with my doula yesterday, which helped a lot. She’s going to bring over another relaxation CD on Saturday and her fetoscope, which she’ll use to confirm baby girl’s position. That makes me pretty happy. The other positive is that we still have three weeks for my body and this baby to get ready to go. That’s a long time.
The selfish part of me definitely has waves of, “Are you f’ing kidding me? 3 more weeks??” I’m getting pretty sick of sweating and just find that I recognize myself less and less in this giant, sweaty body. To help make it through, I did break down yesterday and buy two new pairs of shoes. If I have three more weeks to go, I just couldn’t keep wearing those tennis shoes. I know it’s vain, but the frumpier I feel, the more emotional and blah I feel. SO, you’ll notice in my belly pic above, I purchased a pair of black slip-ons with a small wedge and I also bought a pair of camel colored ballet flats. It definitely helps a little. What wasn’t helpful was how un-fun my shopping experience was. I LOVE shopping. But I did not love it last night. I was hot and uncomfortable and sweating and had to try on about 5,000 pairs of shoes before finding some that fit. Ugh.
I think the timing of my half-time maternity leave and my last day working out kind of made me feel like D-Day was just around the corner and then the appointment yesterday just squashed that. Hopefully with Friday afternoon through Tuesday off, I’ll get my positivity and “peace” back.
AND, even if I do go three more weeks, that’s just more time to rest and relax, right? It’s time to be more positive. Really, no matter what, this is all great. We have a really healthy baby swimming around and we will meet her in less than a month. I’m done complaining… for today!