Last night, my mom, sister and I went to a “ladies night” event at my parents’ club. This was the event…
I have only had one psychic experience before and it was some Carnival palm reading. I can’t remember what the lady said exactly, but she was dishing out some mean words to my friends and I. Told one that he was going to have an illegitimate child, told me that I was going to have two engagements and one marriage, the first engagement that ended because I don’t know how to love, and so on. She was special.
Anyway, I tried to go into last night’s experience with an open mind because really, what the hell do I know about reaching spirits or the “other side”… I can hardly figure out this side.
The chairs were all set up in a circle and the experience began with an opening “prayer” and message. Debra, the psychic, explained that she is a medium who gets visual messages and senses… but does not receive audible messages. She said that her role was to relay messages that will provide guidance, closure, etc.
So, how’d she do? Honestly, I don’t even know. A lot of her “readings” seemed like mumbo jumbo bullshit, but some of it seemed more purposeful or relevant. It’s so hard to tell. For most of the 2.5 hour-session, I sat there and watched as women sobbed, got choked up, went from mocking to totally engaged, and thought to myself, this is what these women need. Everyone has experienced some sort of loss – some much more devastating than others – and ultimately, we all want some sort of closure or reassurance that those people are okay and that they are still with us.
Then, as the “show” was winding down, the lady sitting next to me asked Debra if she could tell whether I was having a boy or a girl. Debra explained that she’s no good at that, but she does have a message for me. Note: I had otherwise stayed out of the spotlight… a place I don’t really love. She said that she was sensing the presence of a womanly figure and asked if I had a woman in my life who had crossed over. I said yes, but did not expand on the fact that my Grandma had passed away 12ish years ago and that she always called me her heart of hearts. She was amazing and we always had such an amazing connection. Probably because I’m freakishly similar to my dad (her son).
Anyway, Debra explained that this woman was sending me a message about my pregnancy. She wanted me to know that I should trust in my body and the labor process because she was going to be with me the whole time. That my body was made for this and that everything was going to be great. I had nothing to worry about. As I sat there listening with a bit of skepticism, I couldn’t help but feel like what I imagined all the other women were feeling when the spotlight was turned to them… “is this for real?” I mean, if my grams were still alive, this would be her in a nutshell. Calming me down, telling me to relax and just trust, and saying whatever I needed to make me feel like everything was going to be okay.
She said that Grandma kept saying, “We’re all here, everything is okay. We’re catching up and laughing. We’re all here.” I picture my Grandpa arriving after 12 long years apart and them finally getting to be together again.
Debra laughed. “I’m getting another image, which probably sounds crazy, but I’m going to go with it…” She said that she saw Grandma with a “magic wand” of sorts bopping us each on the head and that she gets the vibe that we’re all a little spiritually connected. Now, I don’t know how I feel about that, but I couldn’t help but laugh a little because I kind of think my Grams looks a lot like the fairy godmother in Cinderella.
Anyway, the point of this whole thing is that I’ve decided to trust that whether or not this psychic saw my Grams or not, I’m going to take her message with me. Because, regardless of whether she spoke to this lady or not, I’m sure that my Grammy is with me and will be protecting me and her great grandchild as we embark on this marathon laboring event and crazy life together thereafter. And I will find peace in the image of Grandma welcoming Grandpa with laughter and open arms. I bet they’re dancing right now.
I am SO tired and worn out today… and crabby and blah. I don’t know if it’s the rainy weather or if it’s the exhaustion, but I’m just not a happy camper today. In fact, I’m on my way to go take a nap during my hour between jobs. I feel like I can barely keep my head up. I just want to lay on the couch, snuggled with my hubs and pup and call it a day… not that we’d all fit on the couch together. Or at least not for too long. But still.
Also, which might be adding to my mood, I had my appointment yesterday (a few days early because my doc will be out of town on Thursday – my regular appointment day) and I’ve made no progress since last week… except for gaining 1.5 lbs. Boo. Guess it’s time I listen to Grams, huh? Relax, trust my body, etc.