That’s my response now when people ask me when I’m due… how crazy is that?? I’m literally due next week. At this point, it’s all VERY hard to comprehend. I’ve found myself staring at our 3D ultrasound picture a lot today thinking, “Is she really inside me? Coming out… like, really soon?!” I just can’t grasp it. I’m starting to really think she’s going to be late, so at least I’ll have a little time to try and get it all to sink in. But really, will it ever? Until she’s laying there, warm on my belly, will it even be possible to grasp? My mind is blown.
I’m such a mixture of excitement, happiness, anxiety, stress, worry… holy shit. It’s just crazy. Who will she look like? What will she smell like? Will she love to cuddle? Will she be a cranky hot mess of a baby? Will she be sweet as pie? Oh it’s just so exciting.
I think she feels my excitement, because she’s squiggling around like a mad woman right now.
It’s funny, as we get closer, I find myself obsessing over every feeling. Last night after a nice relaxing nap on the hammock and a great workout, I was VERY convinced that she had dropped. Even Mark said I looked lower. I felt lower, too. BUT, when I woke up, it looked like she had crawled her way back up to her post. I even made Mark take a picture of my belly this morning so I could over analyze it. After studying it carefully, I don’t think it looks different. Although, I swear I feel more pressure in my pelvic area. Who knows, right? I need to just let it go. She will drop when she wants to and arrive when she’s ready. I suck at patience.
As for today, it didn’t start perfectly. I’ve been craving Chai Lattes like crazy, so you could imagine my surprise and excitement yesterday at the grocery store when I came across a decaf version of my favorite Chai concentrate. I purchased it immediately and literally talked about it all night and all morning until it was time to make my GIANT glass of iced Chai. I poured the concentrate into my cup and it looked a little funny, so I referenced the container to discover…
I was so upset and convinced that this was how my day was going to go. Not cool. BUT, I was pleasantly surprised at the upswing. I had been chatting with a friend yesterday about wanting to take off for maternity leave starting Friday or Monday. I really think it will help with my moods, energy, etc. So anyway, I approached my boss about it this morning – with low expectations – and he agreed! SO, I officially begin 1/2 time maternity leave THIS FRIDAY (which is also one week from my due date)! Only half time because I’ll still be working for my parents 20 hours a week. But, such excitement… I can’t even describe it.
Anyway, I think that’s all for now.