Buddy

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My little buddy boy is having surgery tomorrow. It’s routine, but long, and requires general anesthesia. We’ve known about this procedure for awhile now, which clearly means that I have almost successfully been ignoring the impending date for months. With only hours left and pre-op prep beginning after nap, I’m anxious.

Hem Jan 2018I’m sure I’ve mentioned it – as if one wouldn’t guess it – but I’m an anxious person on a good day. Since having babies, said anxiety has hit borderline crazy person levels. So, I’m sure you can imagine the endless worry cycling through my mind. I keep wanting to tell myself, “you know that everything will be okay!” but do I? That’s where my head is at.

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I would say that 100% my biggest anxiety is in the anesthesia. I just want everything to go smoothly. Things will be okay. Little buddy, my sweet love, will be okay and this time tomorrow, we will hopefully be on our way back home. Easy peasy. Done and done.

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Still, I’m walking around as if constantly on the verge of panic or an emotional breakdown. Tight, tight chest. Totally useless mind. Constantly fidgeting body. Fighting tears. The good stuff. And, somehow it’s only 2pm.

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If you’re in my inner circle, I love you, but don’t want to discuss aforementioned crazy thoughts. Just need to get a little weight off my heavy chest. And, rest assured, if Henry wakes early from his nap, he and I will be leaving work to get a yummy treat for him and a little retail therapy in for me.

Wish us luck, send us strength and keep us in your hearts. Thanks, all.

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Their Love

“When I grow up, I will marry my brudder, Hemy!” C has been proclaiming lately. I don’t have the heart (or see the need) to explain why that is just not going to happen… but the meaning behind it is so sweet. 

Charlotte loves her brother. She trusts her brother. She finds comfort in her brother. 

Charlie wants to “marry” her brother because they “wuv eachovers” 💕

These two little people are amazing apart and amazing together. It makes my heart absolutely melt and flutter and all the cliche shit. But it’s true. They love eachovers and that is the most beautiful thing in the world. 

A Rejected Bear & a Heartbroken Momma

Charlotte has always traveled in a pack. There’s bunny and soft bunny (the same little blankey lovie with a bunny head, but at one point, one was newer and softer… they’re both ragged and nasty now), blankey, Teddy & the ring leader, Miss Charlotte herself. These “guys” – as we refer to them – join her in every sleep and are frequently dragged around the house. The crew has been together for years now.

Of all the guys, Charlotte has always had a special love for Teddy. I have countless photos of their love affair. C would be sleeping, holding Teddy’s hand. They’d somehow be laying in the exact position. They would “take turns” being the big spoon. It was absolutely adorable. I loved her love for Teddy.

Now, rewind to about 2 or so weeks ago… I wasn’t there, but apparently, Charlie came out of her room and said she didn’t want Teddy in her room for nap. Then, she stood before my husband, staring deeply into Teddy’s eyes. Mark then looked at Teddy and said, “do you not like him because his eyes are red?” Charlie agreed and left Teddy. 

I have spoken to Charlie quite a bit about how everyone is different and despite Teddy having red eyes (they’re actually brown… thanks, Mark!!), he’s still a friend. Regardless, she continues to ice the hell out of this poor bear. And I am left totally heartbroken. Why? I’m not totally sure, but a) as ridiculous as it seems, I feel bad for poor Teddy! No one wants to be iced out like that… even a stuffed bear. and b) Does she think she’s too cool for a stuffed bear??? What the heck!? And, if I’m being totally honest, c) I love you so much sweet Charlie, but is she already a mean girl?? Bailing on her bestie over some arbitrary fickleness?

Maybe I need to start allowing Teddy to sleep in our bed… make her a little jealous so she wants him back…

Okay… that sounds ridiculous. But seriously! This bear has been everywhere with Charlotte for almost 4 years. Does it not seem harsh that she’s totally over him?

Anyway… in memoriam of Teddy… the loving & squishy former BFF to our girl, some photos to remember him by…

A classic, snoozing with Teddy on her head…

Love you, teddy ✌️

Charlotte the Ninja

Charlotte has a new hobby. On top of fighting naps and bedtime by incessantly coming out of her room with ridiculous requests (ie: I need fresh water, I need three tissues… not two, what’s the weather gonna be tomorrow, etc), she has also taken a habit to lingering in the shadows and ninja-ing until we happen to notice her, which is usually marked by some intense exclamation by me: holy shhhhh….ohmigod… Charlotte!! You scared mommy! What are you doing? Oh my goodness…. [deep breath, deep breath, deep breath]

Last night I was watching some absurd tv show after the kids went to bed. I had seen she was sleeping in the monitor, so I turned the monitor off and was relaxing in front of the tv.

At around 930, I heard a weird creaking sound behind me, turned around and she was standing right behind the couch watching tv over my shoulder. Of course, I made my very startled exclamation (to which she replied: I’m just not weally weally sleepy – a Coined phrase of hers), and then I walked her back to her room…

Me: how long have you been watching?

C: like, sooo so long.

Me: Charlotte, that show is not appropriate. Please don’t do that. It scares mommy when you sneak up like that. 

C: I know it’s not propriate, but I do weally like that show.

Me: go to bed

C: but I want to keep watching

Me: 🙈

C: ughh. Fine. [rolls over and goes to bed]

What in the world!?! How have we raised such a ninja? This girl is going to give me a heart attack… or get exposed to some highly inappropriate television. Thankfully for everyone, my tv taste is that of an 11 year old. Now had she seen one of daddy’s shows, that would be a different story.

Remember me?

Hey all! It’s been forever since I’ve been here, but don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten. Somehow, life has been operating at warp speed and I never seem to find a minute to purge my thoughts to my trusty blog. 

I’m hoping that a quick resurgence will get the momentum going, so, here I am! 

As I mentioned, life has been crazy. So good, but so busy. From a personal standpoint, I’ve been up at 5am most mornings to workout, beginning my daily hustle. And I pretty much run around like crazy until nighttime, when I spend about 2-3 nights per week making cookies with my neighbor/friend/partner-in-crime. 

Sleep (briefly). Repeat. And, repeat. 

Sometimes it feels a bit like a scene from the movie Groundhog’s Day. 5am again?

But truly, I can’t complain. 

The kids are at amazingly fun ages. Not without their challenges of course, but mostly very fun.

I will say, Miss C has been wickedly spicy this past week. I feel bad complaining because it’s been an amazing few months with little to no spice, but daaaaaaang, gf is testing her parents. And of course, in total sour patch kid fashion. 

<C says/does something crazy. C’s head spins in circles from rage. C takes a time out. C re-emerges from said timeout.>

C: mommy, I love you so much. I’m going to be so nice to you and daddy and hemy every day because I love you so much. 

<Mom gives blank stares and wearily says, “okay”, as if she was just run over by a truck.>

End scene.

As for Hem, he’s been so sweet, too. Boy is still the noisiest human gracing the good earth, but adorbs regardless.

He definitely rivals Stewie from family guy, in terms of how many times one being can say momma (or Some variation) consecutively.


But seriously, life is good! I have so much to share and hopefully will get it all out soon. 

Thanks for not forgetting about me! 

Until next time, ✌️

You can do anything

Yesterday while I was getting ready, I overheard a conversation between Charlotte and Mark (my hubby):

C: this color is only for boys, so I can’t have it. 

Then, without an ounce of hesitation…

Mark: Charlotte, there is nothing in this world that you can’t have because you’re a girl. 

I walked into the kitchen and hugged and kissed my amazing husband, to which Charlotte said, “stay there so I can join your hug!!”

All. The. Feels.

Day Date

On thursdays, C stays at school until 4. Milly (my MIL) watched Hem yesterday and a previous Thursday afternoon, affording me a little mommy/daughter time with my girl. Both times, I picked her up and took her to this ridiculous candy store. I let her pick whatever she wants (which has been a chocolate covered Oreo both times), we pick a treat for Nana/Milly (which C picks), grab a water at the neighboring coffee shop and eat, talk and play.

It’s amazing. C tells me about her day, we laugh and just enjoy each other. No “momming”, no negotiations or discipline. Just laughs and chocolate. 

Definitely cherished time with my munchkin. 


Our first date:

The Evening of the Fourth

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I wanted to write this post right away because I didn’t want to lose the feeling from the day… but alas, time got the best of me and I forgot.

After a great parade and some quality time with Nana and her puppy dog, we came home for naps and then went to my parents’ country club for a fourth of July party with my sister and her fam (something we’ve done with my parents for the past 3 years).

The kids all went swimming, there was music, food and a bounce house obstacle course race thing.

It was great. Just so, so great. Sometime around 6 or 7, we took the kids back to my parents house. My kiddos went to bed and the rest of us hung out, played games and watched a movie. Around 9, we woke up Charlie to take her back to the fireworks.

When we got to the car, she noticed that little Hem wasn’t with us. “Where’s hemy?” We explained that he was still too little and had to stay at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. She cried. “But I want my Hemy! We gonna pick him up and put him in my car after fireworks?” No, honey. “But I want my Hemy!!!” <MELT>

When we got to fireworks, C was excited and a little nervous. A few days earlier, I had bought some noise cancelling protective headphones… in blue of course, so she was ready.

The fireworks started and she was super timid. Her face looked panicked and she sunk back into Mark. She started muttering things like, “I no like fireworks. I’m all done.” etc. Finally, I just started hyping it up. “WOAH!! Did you see those colors? Wow!!! That’s beautiful! I LOVE that kind!!”

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Charlotte got into it. “Mommy, you wuv that kind??” “You see dat? Its butiful!”

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I loved every moment. We Oooo’d and Ahhhh’d! We hugged and laughed and were totally those annoying firework commentators.

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When the fireworks ended, we walked around looking for fireflies and checking out the stars and moon. Charlotte goes to bed so early, she rarely (if ever) sees the night’s sky.

We decided to head back home – H slept at my parents’ house – and look for fireflies in the backyard. Our neighbor was shooting off fireworks.

Charlotte was so incredibly happy. I can’t even begin to explain it, but there was just this magical feeling about the whole day. Like, such a cliche movie-type day.

When we finally got C in bed, she just kept hugging us saying, “mommy, daddy, i wuv you. We wuv eachovers.”

If only I could just put it in my pocket. Bottle that moment and that feeling and those sounds and smells and everything up and keep it with me forever.

What an amazing summer day.