Shelter From the Storm

Posted on April 6, 2015 by playinghousewi

A couple weeks ago, I received news that a friend of mine from college had passed away from a heroin overdose. We haven’t kept in touch. In fact, I haven’t seen him for probably 8-10 years except for that one time I ran into him while at the mall with my mom about 2 or so years ago.

Supposedly, he had fallen into a bad crowd. He was trying to get help and overdosed at a halfway house.

This isn’t the first friend I’ve had who’s been plagued by drug addiction. Or the first friend whose life drugs had desperately tried to ruin. Or the first friend whose life had been taken by heroin.

I’ve been thinking about Chris a lot over the past few weeks. He was such a caring, kind and seemingly happy person. As I remember him, I can’t help but think of those that Chris has left behind and think of my own little girl.

How will I protect her from such devastating, toxic and life crushing realities? Is it by sheltering her? Or is it by being completely, frighteningly honest with her? I guess I don’t know what the answer is, but my gut says honesty.

So, my sweet baby, please hear my advice. It’s so easy to think that all this bad stuff only happens to other people, but drugs don’t discriminate. They will take anyone foolish enough to fall under their spell. Drugs don’t make you cool or take away pain. In fact, they do the complete opposite. I’ve seen friends who are literally at war with themselves. Friends who so desperately want to be stripped from the shackles of their addiction. Friends who have died trying to quit.

Addiction is a very lonely path and leads to unimaginable pain and struggle.

It’s easy to think that you won’t get addicted… that you’re just going to try it. But let me tell you, sweet girl… no one goes into it hoping to become addicted. Heroin and meth and all of these toxic, horrid drugs will capture a person’s body at first try.

So please, please, please I beg you to make good decisions. Remember that what seems like such a simple and careless decision can change, ruin or destroy your life. Remember that I love you and I’m here for you and you can always come to me… with anything. I won’t be mad, in fact, I’ll be so relieved that you felt comfortable confiding in me.

I love you, sweet girl. Thank you for hearing me.

Xo,

Mommy

Happy Birthday, Hubs!

Posted on April 1, 2015 by playinghousewi

Monday was my sweet husband’s birthday! We spent the weekend celebrating with various dinners with friends and visits with family.

It was delicious and wonderful.

On Monday, we had all of Mark’s boys over for a Mexican fiesta. It was really great. Just good friends sitting around the table, eating food, sipping cocktails and having fun.

And, the good news, C was able to go down with all of them over (after 15-20 minutes of objection) and stay sleeping!

All in all, we had a lovely time celebrating the most amazing man I know. Charlie and I are two VERY lucky girls to have such a sweet, loving, and wonderful man to take care of us.

Happy birthday, Lovey.

Grandparents Galore!

Posted on February 21, 2015 by playinghousewi

Charlie has had a big weekend already. She saw Grandma & Grandpa (my parents) at work on Friday… Although not too much, as she slept most of the day. Then after work, she got to see Nana (Mark’s mom). This morning she got to play with Nana again and then this afternoon she saw her other grandparents (Mark’s dad and step mom)!!

What a great two days with Charlotte’s absolute favorite people.

Unfortunately, I only took (and Mark’s stepmom took) photos this afternoon. Next time I’ll take more photos!

HAPPY New Year!!

Posted on January 1, 2015 by playinghousewi

Had a great night with my family! We let Charlie have her first 3 minutes of actual screen time tonight with this little New Year’s Eve countdown for kids that Netflix had. Yes, she’s seen the TV during football games, but we always try to block or distract her.

Not gonna lie… She loved it. Sorry, Charlie! That’s all till next New Year’s Eve!

After the weird little cartoon creature counted down, we gave Charlie her new year’s smooches (at 630pm) and it was time for bed!

Happy new year from our little Fam to yours!

Shiny, Happy Lights

Posted on December 24, 2014 by playinghousewi

Tonight we took the princess downtown to check out the Christmas light display. Being that her fifth favorite thing (only behind mommy, toby, daddy, and pinching/clawing faces) is lights, we figured she’d love it.

Unfortunately, miss thing has an early bedtime, so we didn’t get as many smiles as we hoped… But she did seem pretty mesmerized by the lights! And, we even got a swing session in. All in all, a successful fun time!

No one needs to know that she cried the ENTIRE 40 minute drive home, right?

Our Little Miss Sunshine

Posted on October 27, 2014 by playinghousewi

Losing my grams has brought a lot of tears and sadness to our family. However, it must be mentioned how grateful I am to have our little girl to help us all through this hard time. Her love and laughter and babbles and baby hugs seem to bring a lot of sunshine into these dark days.

Passed Glucose Test & a Big Weekend Ahead!

Posted on April 11, 2014 by playinghousewi

Yesterday was my 28/9 Week appointment, which for me meant my glucose test and my tDap vaccine. Everything went well… I passed my glucose test and was measuring up pretty well. Although, I must say that while I only gained 2 lbs since my last appointment, I am up 21 lbs total. That feels like way too many pounds considering I was obviously hoping to be on the low end of that 25-35 lb range. Oh well I guess! Right? I’ve been eating well and working out 4 times a week, so my body is clearly just doing what it needs to do to take care of our sweet girl.

The only other thing that showed up from my tests was mild levels of anemia (an iron deficiency). Honestly, while my doc said this was not a big deal and VERY common in pregnancy, I felt a little disappointed. We’ve been continuing on our vegetable smoothie path and I take iron in my prenatal, so I guess I would have expected my iron levels to be a bit better. BUT, no biggy, right? I’ll just keep pounding the leafy greens and take in the iron where I can!

Other than that, I didn’t have too many questions for the doc, other than when the baby will take her final position, to which she responded around 30-32 weeks. SO, while I was excited to hear that our girl was head down at the appointment yesterday (which I had suspected based on her movement), it doesn’t mean anything for a few more weeks.

Now, the FUN stuff! This week has already been family-central and I’m just so excited for that to continue. Mark’s sweet cousin Sarah is in town with her husband Ryan and their adorable old soul of a 3-year old, Callum. I love this boy. I met him for the first time about a year ago, yet when I saw him yesterday, he greeted me with a HUGE smile, an energetic wave and the biggest and sweetest hug. We played BINGO, made shapes out of playdough and just enjoyed ourselves… and that was just with Callum. His parents are an even bigger treat. They are actually the two that had first recommended us watching The Business of Being Born and reading Love and Logic… both resources which Mark and I hold with strong value. Needless to say, I totally enjoyed picking their brains on the birthing and childrearing experiences.

Hello Kitty BINGO… what could be better?

Sweet Callum with little Toby. How cute??

AND, today, my sister-in-law and nieces arrive from NY! They’ll be in town for the next 10 days, so I’m excited to have lots of QT with them 🙂 Then, as if it isn’t enough excitement, my aunt/uncle/cousin are coming in from Cali TOMORROW to stay with Marky and I and come to my baby shower THIS SUNDAY! How sweet is that? A pretty long travel for just a few days. I know I’ve mentioned it before, but I’m VERY excited to see these three. They’re just the best… so silly, so fun… definitely some pretty awesome icing on the cake that is this week/weekend.

And goodness, I kind of breezed over the fact that my shower is this weekend. My amazing mother and sister have been working VERY hard to plan what I can only imagine is going to be a fabulous baby shower. The venue is this adorable, local caterer’s place… the food is sure to be amazing… the decor, perfectly delicate and tea-party-like… the activities – PERFECTION! I just can’t even wait and am SO grateful… to them for planning such an event and to all the amazing people in my life who are taking the time to celebrate and shower me. I’m a lucky gal… and so is our little girl.

Let this be a warning… prepare for severe GUSHING come Monday morning 🙂

PSA for Expectant Fathers

Posted on December 11, 2013 by playinghousewi

To all expectant fathers…

Today’s post is my version of a Public Service Announcement (PSA) for all you spouses of pregnant mommas. If you don’t make it through all 10 tips, here’s the moral of the story: Your special lady literally has a person growing inside of her, which makes her pretty damn spectacular. A living miracle. A total blessing. Treat her as such.

Tip #1: Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not happening

Take the time to read about the endless changes going on in your wife’s body and about the miraculous developments of your sweet little growing baby. While the Internet is vast and this task might feel overwhelming, BabyCenter.com has simplified the searching. Just make an account, type in your wife’s due date and voila! You will receive an email every week providing an update on the latest and greatest information regarding both your wife and baby. As a little bonus, try beating your wife to the punch… “Honey, our baby no longer has webbed feet or hands this week! How crazy is that? I also read that you might be extra tired these next few weeks… how are you feeling?” This leads me to Tip #2.

Tip #2: Ask how she’s feeling, then listen and sympathize

It seems so simple, but showing concern for your baby momma can go a long way. It not only shows that you’re thinking of her, but also shows that you recognize and understand the great task she has taken on. Carrying a baby is much more than just weird cravings and excessive weight gain. It effects every aspect of her life… what she looks like, activities she can participate in, things she can eat or drink, how she feels – imagine 3 months of the stomach flu or 9 months of feeling like you just ate a full pot of chili or having your boobs feel like they’re painfully pulling down your entire body. While it’s amazing, it’s also very difficult and it will likely make it easier if she feels like you’re with her, supporting her through it all. And really, just listening when she vents.

Tip #3: Treat her pregnancy like it’s 9 months of Valentine’s Day

To say that pregnancy can make a woman feel (more) insecure, ugly, fat, crazy, insecure, uncomfortable, unsteady, insecure, and so on would be a total understatement. And what better way to reinforce your love and appreciation for your lady than by making her feel like a queen? I’m not implying that you should bring a dozen long-stem red roses home every day for the next 9 months, but you should try to beef up the romance. Surprise her with dinner, write her a sweet card and send it to her at work, bring her home her favorite magazine, tell her she’s beautiful (and mean it), give her a massage, let her stay on the couch all night while you take care of dinner and clean-up, tell her you missed her. Whether it’s a big or small gesture, the important part is that it’s something. She deserves to feel special.

Tip #4: Do the things you say you’re going to do without her having to remind you

When it takes multiple reminders for you to get things done, you’re not actually relieving that much stress from your special lady. It’s always said that a pregnant woman shouldn’t stress and it cannot be STRESSED enough how important that is. Stress can cause brain and developmental damage to a growing fetus, not to mention pre-term labor and low birth weights. Stress is no joke, so don’t make her worry about whether you’ve gotten your shit done.

Tip #5: While you’re at it, take on some additional tasks

Whether it’s laundry or grocery shopping or cooking some meals, be proactive and help relieve some of the weight and responsibility from your gal. And don’t be afraid to ask the simple question, “What can I do to help you?” Among the many symptoms of pregnancy is severe exhaustion. Like, suffering from the flu, can’t move your body kind of tired. Give her a little relief, as her normal work-load is likely not as easy as it used to be.

Tip #6: Pick up the phone

If she calls, answer the phone. This will become more important as she gets closer to her due date, but it is also just a simple way to show her that she is a priority. Again, pregnancy is a sensitive time for a woman and it is most likely that she feels what she has to tell you is of the highest priority. Plus, if you don’t answer, she is flooded with questions like, “What’s going to happen when my water breaks and I’m all alone? Am I not going to be able to get a hold of him?” Note: This also means that you should keep your cell phone charged.

Tip #7: Be forgiving

Whether you think pregnant women use hormones as an excuse to be crazy or not, I will assure you, the only sustainable option for you is to get over it. Mood swings are very real and very uncontrollable and if you don’t watch it, one will punch you right in the nose and knock you on your ass. When this happens, brush it off and let it go. Your role is to be the cheery, happy and supportive husband. That might mean a few bloody noses (figuratively speaking) during the 9-month period, but it’s nothing you can’t recover from. Trust that it will only get worse if you try to fight it.

Tip #8: Take her on a date

Remember… 9 months of Valentine’s Day. It doesn’t have to be some epic event… just dinner for the two of you at a new restaurant, or a walk in the park. A nice, planned event for the two of you.

Tip #9: Make her feel sexy

Between the weight gain, the zits and the bloat, there is very little to feel sexy about during pregnancy. Remind her of how beautiful she is, hold her hand, give her sweet kisses. You know how to make a woman feel sexy… just don’t forget to actually do it. If you want a sex life, it’s essential.

Tip #10: Just be happy and excited

Remember that you and your baby momma are experiencing a true miracle together. Keep that in your mind every day and remind your partner of that. Fantasize about the sweet little hands you’ll soon be kissing. Ask your partner fun questions about your future life. And most importantly, be positive, happy and excited.

Entering Recovery Mode

Posted on November 18, 2013 by playinghousewi

To say that I’m exhausted after this weekend is a total understatement. This weekend was my mother’s 60th birthday party, which brought my aunt, uncle and cousin in from California for the weekend and my aunt, uncle and cousin in from Chicago for the party. As if that wasn’t enough excitement for one weekend, this weekend was also the big moving weekend for my grandparents. My mother’s parents arrived on Thursday evening from sunny Florida to their new permanent residence of Wisconsin. This move came because both my grandma and grandpa were no longer at a point that they could manage on their own and it was time to enter assisted living.

Grams & Gramps sold most of their stuff (furniture, etc) in Florida, leaving them with a pretty empty apartment. This meant that our charge this weekend was to get them settled and get their apartment furnished. To say we rallied would be a total understatement. We divided and conquered and together, purchased just about all of their furniture and equipped their home with essential and non-essential items to get them going. This entailed 2.5 days of solid work (and shopping)…

Gramps trying out his new sofa!

As for the party, what can I say? It was a blast. Although, I will say, I almost cracked (or snapped) under the pressure of my family to tell my aunt and uncle about my bun in the oven. Prior to the event, I had decided I was going to wait to tell them until Thanksgiving. That way, I would have another ultrasound under my belt, I’d be further along, and my announcement wouldn’t come at such a stressful/overwhelming time. However, when I got to the party, it was starting to feel as if I might need to tell them. I was feeling uncomfortable, pressured and rushed and finally decided I was going to stick to my original plan. Unfortunately, my family didn’t get the memo. For the first 3 or 4 (of 6) courses, my mother, sister and father kept trying to “cue me in” for the announcement. Thankfully, between Mark and I, we were able to send the message to each of them that there was no announcement coming. Instead, I pretended to drink the wine or beer that was paired with each course and carried on conversation as the table became more and more intoxicated. In the end, it was a blast. It’s quite silly to be on the sober end of things, but I’m not going to lie, at the end of the night, I was ready to crash. The pressure of an announcement and my attempt at slyly making sure each course was pasteurized or cooked well done enough or some other form of pregnancy safe, left me ready to snooze.

Mom making a wish!

Mark, Cousin Stef and I enjoying each other’s company at dinner.

Goofing off.

All-in-all, it was a really lovely, important, special weekend spent with people I absolutely love and adore. I got quality time with my California family, who stayed with Mark and I, and Mark got the opportunity to really get to know the California family better. And oy. It must be mentioned how amazing my husband is. He was so patient and helpful the entire weekend. He happily came shopping with us, helped lift grams in and out of the car / her wheel chair, and kept us all smiling. He really is such a perfect guy.

Anyway, now, it’s Monday and I’m zonked.

Even my sweet little niece, Gabby, was zonked.

My nephew, Judah, & Uncle Geoff hanging out before they headed back to Cali.

Symptoms

I’ve been feeling pretty great. Bouts of nausea are becoming less frequent and really, I’m just feeling happy and excited. My body seems to be changing a bit. I’ve gotten on a pretty good pattern of working out, and am feeling fit, but definitely feel a tummy that wasn’t there before. I don’t think it’s baby, but I do think baby is pushing my guts and fat upwards to form said tummy. Other than that, it’s business as usual.

No Grudges

Posted on October 30, 2013 by playinghousewi

Last night I got in a bit of a tiff with my husband. The actual initiator of the fight is pretty unimportant, but the underlying theme was: “You just don’t get what I’m going through. I know you can’t really see it, but I’m pregnant and I need you to take care of me.”

I guess the reality is that this is something that has been bothering me and it was bound to manifest in the first possible way. It started because the first week we found out we were pregnant, I was telling my husband about some of my symptoms and he made some comment like, “Do you think maybe it’s not that bad and you’re just looking to feel something?” He apologized right away, but no matter what, I couldn’t get it out of my head. It felt like he was thinking it all the time.

Some other little things that helped to develop my, “you think I’m faking it” complex:

“When you’re pregnant, we should…” – I had to quickly remind him that I AM pregnant…
Normally my husband is a total nurturer and takes care of me in all of my neediness… but lately, he’s seemed a little distant.
My husband asked me how far along I was the other day. I told him, “6 weeks and 5 days… doesn’t it feel like I should be further along?” To which he replied: “No, I feel like it’s going really quick. Last time I thought about it, you were only 5 weeks pregnant.” Now, I’m sure he didn’t mean last time he thought about the baby… but still. It’s been almost 2 weeks since you thought about the baby’s progress???

Anyway, in my anger, I needed to talk to someone who had recent experience to see if my husband was being a total dud, or if it was normal for it to feel like he just wasn’t getting it… so, I called my sister, who has two kids (almost 2 and almost 4). Turns out, based on my sister’s experience, her friends’ and the Internet… this is pretty darn common. I guess it makes sense. From the exhaustion to the nausea to the bloating to the headaches, I think (and worry) about this baby non-stop, every day. But for my husband, he doesn’t have any of that. His biggest reminder is a bitchy or whiny wife and I’m sure that’s hard to source to the baby at times.

So, I spoke with the hubs and simply reminded him that we are already parents. I am a mom. My job is to sacrifice my wants to care for this child and give it everything it needs… and my only way of doing that is by taking care of myself. And my husband is a dad. His job, as it will be when this baby is born, is to take care of the baby and the momma and provide for us. His only way of doing that right now is by supporting and taking care of me.

It seemed to resonate. So much so, that the husband sent me to bed while he cleaned up after our guests and I woke up to this silly little note in the bathroom…

“I love you because… you don’t hold grudges 🙂 “

AND… if our chat wasn’t enough, I sent him this great blog post I came across last night: Read it here! Hopefully between the two, things will click and we can go back to being on the same page.

Symptoms

My biggest symptom has been exhaustion. This has been SERIOUS, head-to-toe exhaustion. I have been getting at least 8 or so hours of sleep – and very, very hard sleep at that – yet still, I wake up feeling so incredibly tired. After telling my sister that the baby will be doubling in size this week (from .25″ to .5″), she reminded me that this could be the source of the exhaustion. As my baby goes through this big week of growing, she will require a lot of energy and strength from me. We’re both working hard this week.

Other than that, although probably as a result of that, I’ve been very emotional. At least once or twice a day, I feel tears well up in my eyes (some happy and some sad tears). I’m trying to pick my battles and make my main focus be on not getting riled up.

Today the baby is officially 7 weeks. We’re nearly at the 20% mark!