Today’s post is my version of a Public Service Announcement (PSA) for all you spouses of pregnant mommas. If you don’t make it through all 10 tips, here’s the moral of the story: Your special lady literally has a person growing inside of her, which makes her pretty damn spectacular. A living miracle. A total blessing. Treat her as such.
Tip #1: Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not happening
Take the time to read about the endless changes going on in your wife’s body and about the miraculous developments of your sweet little growing baby. While the Internet is vast and this task might feel overwhelming, BabyCenter.com has simplified the searching. Just make an account, type in your wife’s due date and voila! You will receive an email every week providing an update on the latest and greatest information regarding both your wife and baby. As a little bonus, try beating your wife to the punch… “Honey, our baby no longer has webbed feet or hands this week! How crazy is that? I also read that you might be extra tired these next few weeks… how are you feeling?” This leads me to Tip #2.
Tip #2: Ask how she’s feeling, then listen and sympathize
It seems so simple, but showing concern for your baby momma can go a long way. It not only shows that you’re thinking of her, but also shows that you recognize and understand the great task she has taken on. Carrying a baby is much more than just weird cravings and excessive weight gain. It effects every aspect of her life… what she looks like, activities she can participate in, things she can eat or drink, how she feels – imagine 3 months of the stomach flu or 9 months of feeling like you just ate a full pot of chili or having your boobs feel like they’re painfully pulling down your entire body. While it’s amazing, it’s also very difficult and it will likely make it easier if she feels like you’re with her, supporting her through it all. And really, just listening when she vents.
Tip #3: Treat her pregnancy like it’s 9 months of Valentine’s Day
To say that pregnancy can make a woman feel (more) insecure, ugly, fat, crazy, insecure, uncomfortable, unsteady, insecure, and so on would be a total understatement. And what better way to reinforce your love and appreciation for your lady than by making her feel like a queen? I’m not implying that you should bring a dozen long-stem red roses home every day for the next 9 months, but you should try to beef up the romance. Surprise her with dinner, write her a sweet card and send it to her at work, bring her home her favorite magazine, tell her she’s beautiful (and mean it), give her a massage, let her stay on the couch all night while you take care of dinner and clean-up, tell her you missed her. Whether it’s a big or small gesture, the important part is that it’s something. She deserves to feel special.
Tip #4: Do the things you say you’re going to do without her having to remind you
When it takes multiple reminders for you to get things done, you’re not actually relieving that much stress from your special lady. It’s always said that a pregnant woman shouldn’t stress and it cannot be STRESSED enough how important that is. Stress can cause brain and developmental damage to a growing fetus, not to mention pre-term labor and low birth weights. Stress is no joke, so don’t make her worry about whether you’ve gotten your shit done.
Tip #5: While you’re at it, take on some additional tasks
Whether it’s laundry or grocery shopping or cooking some meals, be proactive and help relieve some of the weight and responsibility from your gal. And don’t be afraid to ask the simple question, “What can I do to help you?” Among the many symptoms of pregnancy is severe exhaustion. Like, suffering from the flu, can’t move your body kind of tired. Give her a little relief, as her normal work-load is likely not as easy as it used to be.
Tip #6: Pick up the phone
If she calls, answer the phone. This will become more important as she gets closer to her due date, but it is also just a simple way to show her that she is a priority. Again, pregnancy is a sensitive time for a woman and it is most likely that she feels what she has to tell you is of the highest priority. Plus, if you don’t answer, she is flooded with questions like, “What’s going to happen when my water breaks and I’m all alone? Am I not going to be able to get a hold of him?” Note: This also means that you should keep your cell phone charged.
Tip #7: Be forgiving
Whether you think pregnant women use hormones as an excuse to be crazy or not, I will assure you, the only sustainable option for you is to get over it. Mood swings are very real and very uncontrollable and if you don’t watch it, one will punch you right in the nose and knock you on your ass. When this happens, brush it off and let it go. Your role is to be the cheery, happy and supportive husband. That might mean a few bloody noses (figuratively speaking) during the 9-month period, but it’s nothing you can’t recover from. Trust that it will only get worse if you try to fight it.
Tip #8: Take her on a date
Remember… 9 months of Valentine’s Day. It doesn’t have to be some epic event… just dinner for the two of you at a new restaurant, or a walk in the park. A nice, planned event for the two of you.
Tip #9: Make her feel sexy
Between the weight gain, the zits and the bloat, there is very little to feel sexy about during pregnancy. Remind her of how beautiful she is, hold her hand, give her sweet kisses. You know how to make a woman feel sexy… just don’t forget to actually do it. If you want a sex life, it’s essential.
Tip #10: Just be happy and excited
Remember that you and your baby momma are experiencing a true miracle together. Keep that in your mind every day and remind your partner of that. Fantasize about the sweet little hands you’ll soon be kissing. Ask your partner fun questions about your future life. And most importantly, be positive, happy and excited.