Home – Playing House

Last night I got in a bit of a tiff with my husband. The actual initiator of the fight is pretty unimportant, but the underlying theme was: “You just don’t get what I’m going through. I know you can’t really see it, but I’m pregnant and I need you to take care of me.”

I guess the reality is that this is something that has been bothering me and it was bound to manifest in the first possible way. It started because the first week we found out we were pregnant, I was telling my husband about some of my symptoms and he made some comment like, “Do you think maybe it’s not that bad and you’re just looking to feel something?” He apologized right away, but no matter what, I couldn’t get it out of my head. It felt like he was thinking it all the time.

Some other little things that helped to develop my, “you think I’m faking it” complex:

“When you’re pregnant, we should…” – I had to quickly remind him that I AM pregnant…
Normally my husband is a total nurturer and takes care of me in all of my neediness… but lately, he’s seemed a little distant.
My husband asked me how far along I was the other day. I told him, “6 weeks and 5 days… doesn’t it feel like I should be further along?” To which he replied: “No, I feel like it’s going really quick. Last time I thought about it, you were only 5 weeks pregnant.” Now, I’m sure he didn’t mean last time he thought about the baby… but still. It’s been almost 2 weeks since you thought about the baby’s progress???

Anyway, in my anger, I needed to talk to someone who had recent experience to see if my husband was being a total dud, or if it was normal for it to feel like he just wasn’t getting it… so, I called my sister, who has two kids (almost 2 and almost 4). Turns out, based on my sister’s experience, her friends’ and the Internet… this is pretty darn common. I guess it makes sense. From the exhaustion to the nausea to the bloating to the headaches, I think (and worry) about this baby non-stop, every day. But for my husband, he doesn’t have any of that. His biggest reminder is a bitchy or whiny wife and I’m sure that’s hard to source to the baby at times.

So, I spoke with the hubs and simply reminded him that we are already parents. I am a mom. My job is to sacrifice my wants to care for this child and give it everything it needs… and my only way of doing that is by taking care of myself. And my husband is a dad. His job, as it will be when this baby is born, is to take care of the baby and the momma and provide for us. His only way of doing that right now is by supporting and taking care of me.

It seemed to resonate. So much so, that the husband sent me to bed while he cleaned up after our guests and I woke up to this silly little note in the bathroom…

“I love you because… you don’t hold grudges 🙂 “

AND… if our chat wasn’t enough, I sent him this great blog post I came across last night: Read it here! Hopefully between the two, things will click and we can go back to being on the same page.

Symptoms

My biggest symptom has been exhaustion. This has been SERIOUS, head-to-toe exhaustion. I have been getting at least 8 or so hours of sleep – and very, very hard sleep at that – yet still, I wake up feeling so incredibly tired. After telling my sister that the baby will be doubling in size this week (from .25″ to .5″), she reminded me that this could be the source of the exhaustion. As my baby goes through this big week of growing, she will require a lot of energy and strength from me. We’re both working hard this week.

Other than that, although probably as a result of that, I’ve been very emotional. At least once or twice a day, I feel tears well up in my eyes (some happy and some sad tears). I’m trying to pick my battles and make my main focus be on not getting riled up.

Today the baby is officially 7 weeks. We’re nearly at the 20% mark!

The Reunion (Saturday, October 26, 2013)…

I’m not going to lie, I’ve been dreading this past weekend for a while now, because this weekend was my 10-Year High School Reunion. So, why was a I dreading it (if it’s not obvious)?

The superficial conversations.
The judging.
My insecurities.
My pregnancy secret.
The fact that my pregnancy secret would prevent me from tipping back enough drinks to forget about my insecurities.

HOWEVER, to my surprise, I actually had a great time. The superficial conversations were at a total minimum and I was able to catch up with some friends I hadn’t seen in a heck of a long time. In fact, I ran into one friend who I literally hadn’t seen since high school and it was SO nice catching up. She actually lives by me… very exciting news!

As for the dreaded judging, there was definitely still judging, but I was too excited to catch up with old friends to notice too much of it. And my insecurities… these actually almost got the best of me thanks to my husband. Sometimes men are just so dumb. In his attempt to “help me,” he informed me that he didn’t like my eye makeup. I spent about 10 minutes trying to fix it, while holding back tears. But, I toughed it out, my husband apologized for being a dick and we had a great time!

Regarding the whole no one knows I’m pregnant thing, my secret turned out to be pretty easy to keep. I strategically went to the bar when no one was around and ordered a club soda with lemon. Being that my normal drink is a vodka soda water with lemon, it was an easy fool. Plus, the reality is, no one cared enough to play detective… and thankfully, I left before any shots were taken!

So, all-in-all, it was a pretty fun night! Also, a learning opportunity for me. Who knew I didn’t need a drink to kill the nerves?

This is what happens when I ask my husband to take a photo…

For your enjoyment, my senior quote: “We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.” I had it listed as “anonymous”… turns out those are the wise words of Tim McGraw.

The Birthday Celebration

Sweet Carolyn Making a Wish!

Yesterday was a great day celebrating a really great friend. We were off to a little bit of a rocky start due to some friction between our friends fiance and us girls, but thankfully, it didn’t cloud our day! We picked the thirty, flirty and thriving Carolyn up at around 10:15 am for a delicious brunch at the River Club. After we were thoroughly stuffed, we took the birthday girl to Neroli for a prenatal massage (our sweet Carolyn is 15 weeks into her pregnancy with her first little nugget). When Carrie was done with the rub down, we were all waiting for her with the sweetest little ducky onesie you’ve ever seen.

THE cutest little onesie gowns!

Then, it was time for a mani / pedi and some coffee. Once she was thoroughly pampered, we took her back to my house, where I had some delicious treats (non-alcoholic beer bread and cheese ball dip from Tastefully Simple) ready and dinner on the stove. Unfortunately, our sweet Carrie’s man couldn’t get over the tension to join us for dinner, but all the other men were able to come, which was great! We all sat together around the table and celebrated a truly amazing woman. Although I don’t get to see them as often as I’d like, I just love my girls.

My lovely ladies!

Symptoms

Today I am officially 6 weeks and 5 days pregnant, and I’ve gotta say, I feel pretty good. The biggest symptoms I’ve been having is feeling bloated, a bit nauseous and feeling extremely sensitive. And actually last night, my hands and feet were feeling very puffy. So much so, I put a huge pillow under my legs in the middle of the night. I think that helped, but the big reminder is that I need to get my ass to the gym to keep my circulation going. I’m going tonight, no matter what! You can hold me accountable.

I’m also very tired. I got a pretty decent amount of sleep this weekend and last night, so I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy or the fact that it’s Monday… but either way, I’m ready to curl up with my hubs for the night.