The Birth of My Little Big Man

It feels like it has been EONS since I was pregnant and I feel like my memory of all the drama that goes into having a baby has faded a bit, but I’m going to do my best to recollect.

My last 4 weeks of my pregnancy were filled with chiropractor appointments, prenatal massage, induction massage, acupuncture, long walks, Non Stress Tests, OB Checks and membrane Sweeps. At the beginning of my pregnancy, I had vowed not to go crazy with the natural induction methods because of how things went with Charlie (she got stuck in my pelvis). Now, clearly, I wasn’t just sitting back on the couch waiting for things to happen, but I was a little less intense (ie: I did NOT drink castor oil this time… although I was close to doing it).

On Friday, May 27th, I had a Non Stress Test (NST) (maybe my 3rd or 4th?). After my NST, my doc came in and stripped my membranes. For those of you who have not had this lovely procedure done, it’s essentially an excruciating “procedure” where the doc reaches all the way up to the back of your eyeballs, via your lady bits, to attempt to detach your water bags from your uterus using her fingers. Lovely, as you can imagine. The point: induce labor.

Anyway, I definitely felt things moving on Friday… not crazy, I’m in labor moving… but contractions. I went back in on Tuesday afternoon (5/31) for another NST and another lovely sweep. This time, it was probably only about an hour or so until I felt things starting to pick up. It wasn’t crazy levels of contractions, but they were there and consistent. This was probably around 5pm. I went grocery shopping, made dinner… no biggy.

By around 7pm, they were getting more uncomfortable. I had Mark take the lead putting Charlie to bed. This is when things become blurry. Essentially, from this point until around 12:30pm the following day, I STRUGGLED through labor at home. Mark was amazing. I was literally awake and in severe pain all night. Mark brought one of our bar stools into the bedroom for me, lined it with pillows, so I could try to close my eyes and be comfortable between contractions. I was having such back labor that I literally couldn’t lay down. The pain was excruciating.

We called our doula sometime in the morning. Mark’s mom came to take care of Charlie so Mark and I could labor in our bathroom/bedroom. Somewhere around 10, my contractions became super regular… 3 minutes apart, over a minute in length, consistent for 2 hours. My doula came over sometime before noon.

By around 1, we finally left to go to the hospital. I felt like things were close… or at least I had hoped that they were. I remember being SO afraid of being in the car, getting in the car, everything. But, we made it.

The nurse checked me when we got there, although, I asked for her to keep my dilation to herself… I didn’t want to know. Unfortunately, I totally expected (or hoped) that she would say, “ok, it’s time to push”… but she didn’t. Between the total lack of sleep and exhaustion from the previous 15+ hours of laboring at home, I was already feeling defeated. From the minute we got to the hospital, I was talking about the epidural. I just could not get my head in the game. I remember with my labor with Charlotte, I got so deep inside myself. I just couldn’t get there this time.

But, I pushed forward. I went in the shower and labored in the bathroom for another 6 hours. Finally, I asked to be checked. I needed to know where I was because I was losing it. I was crying and just struggling. I was so tired. Feeling like I was falling over when I tried to stand, just totally fading and exhausted from the pain.

When I was checked… after 20 hours… I was at 5 cm.

I melted down and demanded the epidural. I was done.

Let me just tell you one thing about the epidural… GAME. CHANGER. I literally napped… for hours! I had my legs propped up on a ball in every which way and just slept. I was happy and great. Every so often, those pesky contractions would come back and the anesthesiologist would give me another dose. It was great.

Check upon check, no change. They pumped me with pitocin, clocked nice and strong (and consistent) contractions, but no change. I literally hung off the bed in some weird Welchers position, laid on a birthing ball for hours, squated, etc… no change. I stayed at 5 cm, -3 station until my water finally sprung a leak, for 10-15 hours. I labored a bit more after my water broke. Henry had moved down a little bit (not much), but I still had no further change in dilation and my cervix started to swell.

With my last labor experience with Charlotte weighing on all of us, my doc urged us to consider a c-section. Mark and I talked (and cried) and gushed over the details, but ultimately, the decision was easy. It wasn’t worth the risk to Henry. It was time to call it and time to meet our baby.

At 10:30 am on Thursday, June 2nd, we met our little man. 10 lbs, 5 oz and 22.25” long. Born after nearly 42 weeks of pregnancy (original due date: May 20). It should be noted, that Henry came out howling! He was screaming on and off for the duration of the c-section (post birth). Little man was hungry and cold and wanted his mommy.

It’s interesting because the c-section experience was so different and just the whole thing felt so incredibly different. With Charlotte it was intense all the way through. There were no breaks. Just from one high intensity moment to the next, until we finally got her in our room, after she spent 5 hours in the NICU. With Henry, it was calm. I was rested. We had an easy c-section. They put him on me right after they weighed (and wiped) him. I was irked that they cleaned him off, but whatever. The frustrating part is that the anesthetics made me SO incredibly shakey. My whole body. I felt like I was freezing and just couldn’t calm my body down. Ultimately, I had to ask Mark to take Henry from me because I felt so unstable. But regardless, it was wonderful to have our sweet boy in our arms.

And then, just like that, we were four.

 

Valentine’s Day

We had a really nice Valentine’s Day! My amazingly sweet husband snuck out of the house early to surprise me with flowers at my office. 


But before I saw my flowers, Marky took charge with both kiddos so I could get into work early…


At lunch, hubby came by to spend time with Henry and I.


And then we put the kiddies to bed early (after an adorable evening with them), ordered Thai food (Marky was even home from work early), and had an at-home date night ❤

My sweet hubs surprised me with a massage gift certificate and the kids and I made him this beautiful little piece of art…

Our World

As I’m sure you’ve gathered, things have been a bit busy and keeping up with my blog hasn’t been as easy as I’d like. Between being swamped at work and juggling children and housework and life and everything at home, there just hasn’t been much time. I hope to play catch up soon.

Anyway, things in our world are really good. We have these amazing children. I mean, I literally can’t even. Charlotte has become such a little girl. Oh gosh is she sweet. I mean, she’s spicy as hell, too… but she’s so sweet. She loves hard. She’s SO amazing with Henry. The other day, she was watching “Lost in Oz” (super cute show) while I was making dinner. Henry was just outside of the kitchen in his bouncy seat. All of a sudden, without saying a word or even looking at me, she gets up, runs over to Henry and gives him a huge hug and kiss and then runs back to the couch and continues watching (all without any acknowledgement from me). It was just the most beautiful, genuine moment. It gives me flutters just thinking about it. What an incredible love this small child has for her brother and such love and admiration he has for his sister. Makes a momma proud.

Henry continues to be the sweetest little man there ever was. Like, legit, sweetest dude ever. His personality continues to evolve and he’s just an incredible, relaxed, loving, happy man. He LOVES to laugh. He watches Charlie with a laugh just waiting to come out as soon as she does anything. He gives these hugs and snuggles that just make my world brighter. He loves to dance and sing with mommy and loves to play. He’s also a total destructor. He’ll break the shit outta anything. Seriously though. Papers on the desk? Not anymore. Glasses on your face? Gotta go! You get the picture. Senor Destructor.

Last night H & C were eating dinner… Charlie in the high chair, Henry in the booster seat. Henry reached his hand out to Charlie and they just held hands, smiling at each other. MELT, MELT, MELT.

Through all the good, I will say, it’s been hard. It’s strange to say that because it’s literally so good. I’m SO happy, but it’s hard. With Charlotte, I felt like there was no real change in Mark and I. I mean, obviously we were different, but it didn’t feel hard on our relationship. And honestly, maybe I just don’t remember. But these first 8 months, while amazing and wonderful and great, they have also been hard. On each of us and on both of us. I feel like we are both working hard to get acclimated in this new chaotic world of extreme multi-tasking. Some days we totally win. We’re so good, pros. And some days, our exhaustion and overwhelmed feelings take over and one or both of us snaps a bit.

As with any huge life change, it takes adjustment.

I remember my sister telling me that the first year after her youngest was born was the hardest on her marriage and life and I totally get that. The change from 1 to 2 kids is significant. It’s a change that has catapulted my life to such incredible levels of happiness and love, but oh man is it significant.

I’m not sure if it’s some level of postpartum or the fact that this world gets scarier every day, but some days I literally have anxiety coming out of my eyeballs. That’s probably been the most difficult thing for me. I’ve always been a bit anxious, but oofta… it’s reached new levels. With so much love and such gifts in my life, there is just so much to lose, so much vulnerability. Those fears sometimes get the best of me. I’ve been opening up about these things lately and I feel like that’s helping me to let go a bit.

I feel like that’s way more Debbie Downer than I’m currently feeling (I’m actually in an overwhelmingly happy and grateful mood today), but I wanted to get it down in writing. I can feel that we’re totally on our way up, that I’m starting to gain back control of my crazy mind. Our winning days far outweigh our losing days. So, before I totally forget to document the groundbreaking fact that having kids is hard, here it is.

 

Half of a Year… and then another month down

Can I just say that the past 6 months have literally been the fastest of my life? I mean, it feels like I have known Henry my whole life and that he’s been in our world forever, but at the same time, I literally cannot believe that it’s already been half of a year! Mind blowing.

***

Even more mindblowing? Another month has passed since I wrote the above statement. Shit, I’m so behind and life is just flying by. Henry is SEVEN months old… practically in college.

Weight: Per his 6-month check up (which occurred at 6 months and 2.5 weeks), he’s 21 lbs and either 5 or 8 ounces! I can’t remember. 95th percentile for our tiny giant!

Height: Big man Henry is 28.25″… WOWZA! I’m 60″… just think about that. 91st percentile for height.

Health Updates: Henry still has constant boogs. I think he keeps them there so I can pick them out. He’s giving like that. Otherwise, he’s been nice and healthy (knock on wood). I’m sure it’s helped that Charlotte hasn’t been in school for over a month now. We’ve been pretty germ-free.

Sleep: Henry continues to be amazing in the sleep department. He had a week or so where he decided he wanted to wake up an hour after he went to sleep. At first, we went in nightly and gave him hugs and smooches and then we realized he was hustling us. Or really that he was just getting into a totally unnecessary routine. We did cry it out and voila! Back to normal. The first night he cried for an hour, then for 15 minutes, and by night 3 it was maybe a couple of minutes.

Henry’s routine is a little different these days. He’s been eating solids at dinnertime with the family. Then, we get him in his jammies/sleep sack and start feeding him his bottle in Charlie’s room while we read two stories. After stories, Mark takes him to his room to finish his bottle and go to bed. He’s typically done with his 8.5-9oz bottle and in bed by 6:30 or 7 at the latest. Typically, he sleeps until around 7/730.

 

In terms of his schedule, most commonly, it looks like this:

7/730: Wake up (we will usually either give him a bottle or I’ll nurse him)

830/9: He typically naps for an hour (sometimes 2 hours if he’s at home)

11/1130: Nap

2:30/3:30: Nap

5:30: Dinner

6:30: Bed

Clothes/Diapers (Sizes): Henry is a tank. He’s pretty solidly in 12-month clothes. 9 fits him most of the time, but 12 month clothes are ideal. Diapers, he’s in a 5… same size as his sister. I do squeeze his tiny butt in size 4’s, but always regret it as I’m cleaning baby shit off of his back and thighs.

Diet: Sir Henry takes down boatloads of milk daily and is also eating 1-2 solid meals a day. I’ve been SO much less calculated with solids for Henry than I was for Charlotte. Here’s what he’s tried so far:

  • sweet potatoes (first food at about 4 months and 1-2 weeks – doesn’t like it)
  • peas
  • apples
  • bread
  • Panera chicken noodle soup (that’s legit, right?)
  • Panera bread (even more legit…)
  • Zucchini
  • Chicken
  • Oatmeal
  • Avocado
  • Black beans
  • Pasta
  • Puffs

That might be all…

Teeth: Henry has two tiny chompers on the bottom and seems to be working on the top. Who knows. Like I’ve said before, he seems to be in a constant state of teething.

Baby Gear Love: Henry’s best friend (besides Charlie) is his reindeer Rodolfo. Other faves: Comotomo Teether (this thing is cheap and awesome!!), Nuby Teether (Nana got something like this for Henry and he absolutely loves it), Edushape Sensory Balls (When Charlie actually lets him play with his balls from Grandpa, he really enjoys them. Perfect for gnawing and reaching and bouncing around). He also still loves his play mat and his exersaucer. Oh! And his Fisher Price car thing.

Milestones/Firsts: Henry is legit rolling from back to belly and all over the place. He also does assisted standing (and bouncing). He’s working on sitting up by himself, but still calls over pretty consistently.

Crap, I don’t know! All the time blends together, but he’s amazing and wonderful! That’s not new though…

Likes: Henry is still my little guy and I seem to continue as the apple of my little man’s eyes. He also loves the “laughing game” as Charlie calls it. This entails Charlie laughing or being goofy and Henry cracking up. They’re definitely little buddies. It’s perfectly sweet and I love it. My little loves.

Henry loves to eat. He makes little happy food grunts and hungry grunts when he wants more.

Henry LOVES to hug, but equally loves to attempt to rip off faces/hair. He enjoys splashing and rolling around.

Dislikes: Being put down when he wants to play. Being overtired…

Hmmm… I don’t know. He’s so dang happy. He’s a lover of life.

Things I Don’t Want to Forget: Henry is my little man. It absolutely blows my mind how sweet he is. He gets the biggest smiles when he sees his momma. And he gives me the best and biggest hugs. I love just laying around with him and don’t want to forget those moments. When I tickle his little belly, when he grabs onto my face and laughs. All of it.

His relationship with Charlie is also just magical. The way he looks are her… it’s just so sweet. He has sparkle eyes and he gives them to her often. He just waits – with a smile from ear to ear – for her to say something that sends him roaring. Despite the fact that she constantly steals his toys, rolls him over, and bosses him around, he absolutely adores her.

The other day, I was thinking about how crazy the past 7 months have been. I’ve found 2 children to be much more challenging than 1. There’s like 5 times the amount of things to do at all moments and there are so many moments where if you stopped me in my tracks and asked me what I was doing at that exact moment, I’d list 6 things off. BUT, despite it all, it’s all so incredibly fulfilling and magical and perfect and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I have so many moments that I want to just bottle up and keep preserved forever… sitting in Charlie’s bed with Mark, Charlie & Henry, reading stories… Charlie explaining the story to Henry and showing him the book, letting him hold it… Sitting at the dinner table, watching both kids laugh hysterically, as Mark and I laugh and love. Everything. It’s just been so incredibly rewarding and perfect. My heart is full.

Charlie’s First Day at her New “Shool” (Insert Sigh of Relief)

It’s officially been over a month since Charlotte’s accident and since her last day at her old school. Without going into too much detail, after C’s accident (which happened at school), we decided we did not feel comfortable sending her back there.

Once the initial few weeks of recovery were behind us, we embarked on a stressful, time consuming, frustrating and stressful, stressful, STRESSFUL task of finding a new school for our girl. In total, I visited 5 schools and contacted SO. MANY. OTHERS.

I ran into so many challenges. Great teachers, but a TINY classroom. Crazy teachers and CRAZIER tuition. Great school, but she would have to get on a bus daily or weekly beginning next year. ETC, ETC, ETC.

I started to really stress that I’d end up having to “settle” on a school that I didn’t love. Knowing that my baby just shattered her elbow (and broke the bone all the way through) at a school that we loved, I was kind of freaking thinking about the things that could happen at a school I didn’t love.

Anyway, apparently, the 5th visit was the charm. I visited a local Montessori school and literally, from the moment I arrived, I had great feelings about it. The kids were happily playing, but there was such order and control in the classroom. The teachers were calm and loving, but assertive. I stayed for an hour and watched as they transitioned from “free play” to snack time to indoor gym (it was a brisk 2 degrees outside that day, so no outdoor time). The kids operated with such independence. It was most definitely their school. They sat and chatted with friends politely as they waited for snack. It was just so calm in there. I LOVED it. For gym, the kids got to run around and get some energy out, but again, not in a way that was out of control.

So, fast-forward. Charlotte is enrolled and TODAY was her first day. On Tuesday, I ordered C a new lunchbox. She would be eating a packed lunch every day at school. That night, I realized that Charlotte wouldn’t get her lunchbox until Thursday, meaning it wouldn’t arrive until after her first day of school… THE HORROR! Guys, I kind of lost it. I scoured the internet for local stores I could buy it from directly… nada. Finally, after staying up in bed for 2 hours stressing, I decided to “let it go.” There’s always tupperware (why was I freaking out so badly??).

Like the good juju that we needed, when I got home from work last night, the lunchbox had arrived!!! I immediately ripped open the box to show Charlie. And, as my heart of hearts, she was just as excited – if not more – for her brand new lunchbox as I was. We talked about what I would pack for her to eat at school, how she’d carry the lunchbox in her backpack and how she could share her food if she wanted (her suggestion, not mine. Note: this am she told me (bright and early) that she would not be sharing her lunch).

My psycho, type A brain really enjoyed packing her lunch last night. I cheered. Not to mention, it was a perfect distraction.

Crackers, cheese, cucumber, red pepper, hummus, pear, and a few raisins! Mmm.

This morning, Charlie woke up with the same excitement as the night before when we were in lunchbox heaven. We smiled, we laughed, we sang (“Getting dressed, getting dressed, getting dressed for my new shooool”) our way through the morning. All the while, my stomach was in painful knots. At one point I thought I might actually throw up. I smiled happily through it.

I knew drop off would be hard. There would be tears. First hers, then mine to follow once I got back to my car. I braced myself.

When we got to school, Charlie marched right on in. She walked with me to hang up her coat. We found the table where she would eat lunch (lunchbox dreams). A little boy in her class showed us the class frog! She told me he was green and started to count his black spots. Everything was so normal and uneventful. I kind of awkwardly said, “well… okay then. I’m going to go to work then…” I got my hug and kiss, turned around and left. Then, I spent the next 4 hours watching the clock until I could get back there.

The teachers raved about her first day. She did SO WELL! She came over and told me that they watched TV (they watched and did a yoga dvd), she did somersaults on the mat, she jumped and popped bubbles. AND… wait for it… had NO ACCIDENTS!! This was another huge stress. C is 2 weeks into potty training and has spent the bulk of that time with no undies or pants on, inside our home. I was so worried that she would have an accident and feel terrible or not feel comfortable telling the teachers that she had to go potty. Anyway, under the advice of the director, I sent C to school in a pull up. I figured that once she was acclimated, we could readdress potty training. But there she goes WOW’ing me again.

NO tears this morning, NO accidents today and all in all a great first day. Charlie’s very excited to go back tomorrow… and mommy’s tummy is finally starting to calm; although, I’m pretty sure I aged myself another 10 years. Mom life.

So proud of my happy girl. She is much tougher than I gave her credit for.

What do you want to do today?

What do you want to do today?

Should we potty train C? It’s probably the last long weekend we have for awhile.

Sure…

Okay, so maybe there was a little more convo, but at max, maybe 10 minutes. We decided to go cold turkey. Farewell, diapers!

Charlotte was reluctant at first, but actually did a really great job yesterday. She went pee in the potty twice (for the first and second time ever) and poop once! She had an accident during her nap and later this evening. 

I’m super impressed with her! She did SUCH a great job!

This morning is also going well! She woke up wet at 7:15a, but it seemed like she had just peed. Then, within an hour of being up, she pooped and peed on the potty – both of which she prompted. She was playing with her toys and yelled, “I have to go potty!”

Go, Charlie!

In terms of details, we’ve been giving her either chocolate chips or mini m&m’s after each poo or pee (2-5 each time… we ask how many she wants and she responds with some number in this range).

We’ve also spent most of the time with no bottoms on (no undies/pants/diaper). In fact, her one non-sleep accident happened when she had undies and pants on. 

When she’s actually on the potty, we’ve been watching family videos on my phone, reading books, and singing. She tends to want to get off right before she goes potty. 

As implied, we also cut out diapers at night and during nap. Hopefully, after a couple days, we’ll be doing less laundry. Fingers crossed!

All in all, she seems to be enjoying the process! She’s happy and excited (and adorable with her tiny butt cheeks hanging out). 

Pant-less dance party!

Rolling Over

Little Henry has been working SO hard to roll over lately, but that 95th percentile body has just been too heavy to get a full roll out of… until last night!

And of course, in full “second child” form, he did it when my back was turned. I only knew he did it because I turned back to find him 3 body widths from where I left him. Way to go, Henry!

Time to baby proof! Somehow I’m going to guess that baby proofing will be much more challenging with Henry than it was with Henry. Damn all those Charlie toys with all the mini pieces!

​​Meanwhile, if Henry asks, the reason I was so distracted and missed your first roll is simple… we had just given Charlie her final Chanukah gift: a dollhouse! And not just any dollhouse, but a $50-bought-used, lights that work, accessories galore dollhouse. 
Sorry, Henry Love, you know how I love tiny things.