Yesterday at the nail salon, which my mother, sister and I frequent:
Nail Tech: Your face get a little fat (as she uses her fingers to show roundness in the face)
Me: Uhhhhhh…
Mom: NO! That’s not true…
Nail Tech: Yes! You gain the pounds, no?
Me: Uhhh… I mean… uhh.. I’ve gained weight…
Nail Tech (while smiling and nodding): Yes, see!?
Me: That’s uhh… I’m pregnant. So, yeah.
Somehow, the conversation wouldn’t go away and my sweet mother added in, “It’s interesting to see how your diet is different this time around.”
Me: (More silence and furious texting to my husband)
<End Scene>
WHAT. THE. F…
I literally went home and proceeded to cry to my husband.
So, for those of you who have never been pregnant or it’s been too long to remember the emotions, let me share a few things with you:
- Just because it’s inevitable (and healthy and wonderful, blah blah) that you’ll gain weight, does NOT mean it’s open for analyzation. Keep your opinions to yourself. I don’t want to know which part of my body you think got bigger or how YOU feel about what I’m eating. In fact, you can keep all of your opinions regarding me and/or my pregnancy to yourself.
- Despite the happiness that pregnancy brings, it also brings a heavy load of body insecurity. It is literally a time where you no longer recognize your own body. It’s also a time where your body just totally does its own thing. At moments, that’s a lot to handle, so simply be kind.
- I REALLY don’t want to hear about how little weight you gained when pregnant. 100% uninterested.
- When in doubt, ask yourself, “if she wasn’t pregnant, would I say that?” Or better yet, “what would it feel like if someone said that to me?”
Today I told a colleague my nail tech story and she responded by saying, “shut up! I constantly think about how annoying it is that you can barely notice that you’re pregnant except for your little bump.”
That, my friends, is how you speak to a pregnant woman.
Playing House 
