In exactly one week from today, Mark and I will get to see our sweet little baby on the 4D ultrasound screen. For anyone who’s gone through this, I’m sure no explanation is needed regarding the anxiety, excitement, obsession, impatience and a little bit of fear that I’m feeling. For those of you who haven’t gone through it, here’s my explanation…
Anxiety I have stupidly answered everyone’s question of, “What would you prefer, a boy or a girl” with the answer, “Girl!” Now, with just one week until the big gender reveal, I can’t help but feel guilty and foolish for this comment. Here are my reasons for gravitating towards a girl: a) I eventually would like to have a girl and fear I might end up with 10 boys in my desperate attempt to get a girl. A girl first would eliminate that. b) There has been a girl’s name that we’ve talked about for quite some time and have had no idea on a boy’s name. This is stressful. c) Baby girl accessories are so cute. As you can see, none of these reasons are a big deal, which is why I feel guilty. Are people not going to believe how excited I am/would be if we find out we’re having a mini man? I mean, my hubs was one cute kid… I’d be stupid not to want one of those little guys on our team. Also, I feel anxious about my reaction when they tell us the sex. Despite the fact that I will be overjoyed either way, will I feel a bit of disappointment my intuition was wrong if it is a boy? Ughh.
Excitement We have not seen our baby since 8ish weeks, and at that time, the little nugget literally looked like a blurry blob… AND, even that was totally amazing. I cannot even imagine how special and amazing it’s going to be to see our sweet love’s face and hands and feet. I’m overwhelmed with excitement. Not-to-mention the fact that I’m excited to finally stop guessing if the babe is a boy or girl.
Obsession All I’ve thought about for the past 4 months, 3 weeks and 5 days has been this little baby. So, I’m pretty sure that’s the definition of obsession. I know there will be other things to obsess about after we find out the sex (ie: nursery decor, registering, delivery, etc), but it’ll be nice to not have gender as one of those things.
Impatience To say that I’m impatient is a TOTAL understatement. I don’t like waiting at all and this wait has, at moments, felt torturous. I’m ready to see this sweet face for what could be the first and last time before we meet face-to-face.
Fear Of course, there is always that looming fear that the doctors are going to see or hear something that isn’t good. I’m trying to ignore that feeling, but sometimes it creeps up on me.
And in other news, I have the cutest animals around. Check out last night’s snuggle fest…
I’m still struggling from the weekend. I’ve been SO tired these past couple of days and feeling sore and uncomfortable. I’m hoping a few good night’s rests will really improve that, but we’ll see! Maybe a chiropractor visit and the weekend are required? Otherwise, all is well. Trying to get back to healthy eating, which now includes vegetable smoothies. More on that later in the week!