9/24/15

With my first pregnancy, my blog was such a great place for me to share all of my pregnancy woes and also, to let my secret out a bit. This go around, my blog isn’t the secret place it used to be.

The whole thing has left me wondering, when do I tell people I’m pregnant?

Part of me would like to just not say anuthing and just start blogging about it. It’s weird because I don’t feel that pregnant and I’m definitely not as fixated on every feeling like I was the first time. With a toddler to care for, it’s harder to focus on every little change going on inside my body. If I told everyone, maybe it would help me fixate on it a little more and make it feel more real.

The other side of it is that I’m only 6 weeks along and don’t have my first doctor’s appointment until October 15th. That feels like forever. With all these moments of not feeling pregnant and no ultrasound confirmation, I just feel worried about telling people. I mean, I know I’m pregnant, but I just feel worried.

With Charlotte, I was worried about miscarriage, but only because I thought I should worry. Now, with our second baby, I find myself much more legitimately worried. I’ve seen a lot of friends go through the heartache of losing a baby during the first trimester and I’m just much more afraid of that pain and loss.

Despite my saying that I forget I’m pregnant, I’ve already grown attached to the new world we are creating. Another sweet ball of love to add to our family. A warm, cuddly, lovey of a babe. A sibling for my girl. Another element to our family.

Anyway, if I were to lose this sweet baby, I’m sure I would tell everyone… but it would be on my terms.

I don’t know. I’m stuck.

Maybe once we have our first appointment, I’ll break the news. Ugh who knows?

How do you really know when you’re ready?