So I have to be honest, my day yesterday did not start off as I had hoped. In fact, it was pretty shitty. Leading into the day, I was feeling super anxious and nervous. I had started to worry that I hadn’t felt the baby for a day or two and was just totally freaking myself out. Any excitement I had about learning the sex and seeing our baby had been completely converted into stress about the health and well being of our sweet baby.
In the morning, I was running late for work and feeling really chaotic. I had finally gotten into the car to leave and made it down the block when I realized that I had forgotten to grab my little pretzel gift bags for my nurse and doc. Obviously, I had to turn around and grab them. THEN, as I was backing out of the driveway for the second time, I was a bit too far over to the right and felt my car roll onto a bit of snow (aka: off the driveway). I tried to adjust, but being that our driveway is a steep 45 degree angle and was a bit of a slippery mess, I just rolled backwards and got nice and wedged in the snow. Needless to say, I was frustrated and crabby and had to call to have my car pushed out of the snow bank. Simultaneously, I was sharing my stress and anxiety with my husband by giving him shit for not shoveling the driveway from the weekend’s 1″ snowfall.
The husband was also feeling stress and anxiety about our upcoming appointment, so what was really a nothing situation turned into a fight… over the phone… before 10 am. We ended our conversation with a, “this is not a big deal… no worries… see you this afternoon,” but I think we were both still feeling crappy about it. Anyway, then it was finally appointment time and Mark was 15 minutes late to pick me up. When he arrived, things were kinda normal and kinda tense and by about halfway through our drive to the hospital, we were back in our stupid argument over nothing. It followed us into the hospital, where we sat in the waiting room in a whisper fight. And literally it was so stupid… but regardless, I freaked out. I didn’t want us to share this super exciting moment when it didn’t feel like we were on a team. So I told Mark I wanted to reschedule, got up and started balling my eyes out as I walked to the bathroom. When I got out of the bathroom, Mark was there and just held me as I gasped for breath, sobbing. We both acknowledged that the anxiety of the day was what was making us both crazy and that we loved each other and were just being crazy.
We held hands and walked back over to the waiting room together, as a team. That was when the best experience ever began.
As soon as I laid down on the ultrasound table, Mark was by my side, holding my hand again. The excitement was totally overwhelming and then all at once, there was our baby. Our ultrasound tech, Tracey, started at the head and then worked her way up and down and all around the baby. Some of the highlights…
- The Heart! This actually made me quite nervous, because we had no idea what they were looking for or what “normal” would look like… and Tracey wasn’t giving any hints. But, regardless, it was pretty damn amazing. We saw all four chambers of the heart and the valves and everything. There is some sort of something that allows them to track the blood flow, so we saw red and blue patters that tracked blood flowing towards the ultrasound wand and blood flowing away… all moving within the heart and out to the rest of the body.
- That little butt. Oh my goodness does she have such a cute, miniature baby butt. That was almost too much for me to handle.
- Her tiny legs, crossed like the teeny lady that she is. What a princess, this baby is. Throughout the majority of the exam, she sat with her sweet little legs crossed at the ankles. Seeing the little legs and little feet. Oy. So much cuteness on one small monitor.
- Her baby mitts. She was constantly moving her little hands around, but they stayed very close to her face the whole time. I’m thinking I need to invest in the onesies with the extra fabric to fold over the baby’s hands so she doesn’t scratch her face.
- Have I mentioned how cute her little tush was?
- Baby kicks… it was SO crazy to feel the baby kicking and be able to see what the movements I’ve been feeling actually look like. It makes everything WAY more imaginable and real and simply amazing.
Towards the end of the exam, Tracey told us she usually likes to see the baby “spine up” (aka with the baby’s spine facing upwards and their face facing towards the momma’s back), but since baby wouldn’t cooperate, she would move on to gender. I rolled on my side and she shimmied the ultrasound wand to try and get a good look at the baby’s lady parts, but our little nugget wouldn’t cooperate. Tracey told us she was going to give the pictures to the doctor to examine and would hopefully be back to to try to determine gender once the doc was done. I instantly got nervous and desperately asked, “but… you’re coming back right? You won’t make me leave without knowing, will you?” She said she’d do what she could and left us.
THANKFULLY, within minutes, she was back in with us. She told us that the doctor was reviewing the scans and that we’d try again. This time, the baby had flipped so she was able to get her spine photo AND, we were able to see what kind of parts the babe was sporting. Tracey explained that one thing they are looking for is the reflection in the genital area… the labia creates three little lines and the testicles create… well, honestly, I can’t remember! But, after she told us that she said, “As you can see, there are three lines here… you’re having a girl!”
I instantly squeezed my husband’s hand so hard and was literally speechless. I couldn’t do anything but smile and fight back my tears. And honestly, at that moment, I was so excited, but also realized that it wouldn’t have mattered either way. It was just so amazing to know which flavor baby we were having!
The better news came next… Dr… something came in to let us know that everything looked perfect! Baby is 13 oz and the scan looks great! PHEW!!!
We walked out of the appointment with a ton of photos totally glowing! We had our 20-week appointment next, which I’ll tell you about tomorrow. But, all in all, it was just amazing. I have literally never had a more amazing and miraculous experience EVER. We got to see our sweet little baby GIRL and she’s beautiful and perfect and tiny and lovely.
Here are the pics…
I’m feeling great and excited and overwhelmed with love and happiness. Also, I’m starting to get the feeling like these next 20 weeks are going to FLY! Time to start planning the nursery 🙂