I remember once before a trip to visit my grandparents in Florida, my Grams and I were chatting and she asked me if the friend I was bringing with me liked to go shopping. I said, “I think so,” and Grams responded with, “well, if not, we’ll have to leave her at the house.” While she said it through a laugh, there was probably a part of her that was serious. Nobody was going to get in the way of Grams and I shopping.

Once during one of our many shopping trips, I told Gran that I needed to stop into Victoria’s Secret to pick up some cheekie underwear. I picked my 3 for $25 or whatever the deal was and as we stood in line, Grams said, “Meliss, these are kind of slutty.” I told her they were fine and that she didn’t have to buy them… I was happy to purchase my slutty undies. She grabbed the underwear, said, “I don’t have to do anything,” and bought me the undies.

Whenever I went to visit my grandparents in Florida, I would spend a third of the time at the pool getting as much sun as possible, a third of the time shopping with my grams, and the rest of the time trying to convince Grams that my sunburn wasn’t THAT bad.

At my sister’s wedding, my fam (cousins, parents, grammy) decided it was time to take a shot. Grandma led the group in sex on the beach shots.

That’s one fun lady.

I’ve been lucky enough to have my grandma with me for nearly 30 years, until yesterday, when she passed away.

It’s funny how when you let yourself feel those extreme feelings of loss and heartache, it’s like a flood gate is lifted. Like all the loss you’ve ever experienced comes at you like a thousand daggers. My Grandma had Alzheimer’s and while that’s not what took her life yesterday, it is what took a lot of the life out of her these past few years. Her voice didn’t sound the same anymore. She rarely got excited about things… although, it must be said that her great grandchildren had a way of bringing back her spark.

Somehow, today, as we mourn the loss of my Grammy, I can’t help but feel like I’m finally morning the loss of who she used to be… a person who had pretty much been gone for years.

Today, as we mourn the loss of my Grammy, I can’t help but feel the pain of losing my Gramps who passed away at the end of May and the loss of my Grandma who passed over 10 years ago.

Flood gates.

Hopefully they’re all together.

And hopefully my Grandfather who is still with us can find peace. They were married for 67 years.

These are my grandparents…